Sydney B.

Resolutions of 2012

2012-01-17T10:57:00.001-05:00

Like most people during the New Year, I have made some resolutions. I also decided to do a new thing this year where I write myself a letter on New Year's day, writing about what's been going on lately, what I would like to work on, and how I hope the new year turns out. I'll let you know how that turns our NEXT year:) But for now here are some of my ambitions and goals for the new year:

1) Re-modeling my bathroom and painting my kitchen.
Justin and I moved into a pretty beat up apartment that is located in the attic of a huge old house. Why would we do that you ask? Well because the landlord said he would pay for materials if we wanted to do some remodeling to the place. What fun!!! Well after working long hours and getting annoyed that remodeling takes a really long time when doing it yourself... I decided that we didn't have to do it all at one time. Deciding that took a load off my shoulders. So as of now, we have wood flooring in our bedroom and the hallway, repainted the entry/hallway and also repainted our bedroom. In April our landlord is going to put wood floors in the other bedroom (which we never use or go in because the carpet is gross and kind of smells. We found out that it was once used as a Marijuana green room... oh joy.) and also re-carpet the stairs leading up to our entry way. And my goal before summertime is to paint all the trim and re-do my bathroom and paint the kitchen! Wish me luck, because the motivation is lacking...

2) Oh weight loss oh weight loss... how you run our lives. Why oh why was I "blessed" with a huge rear and a not so small at all chest?! Truth be told it wouldn't be so bad having that body style if I hadn't insisted on dragging in some abdominal protection and flubber for warmth on my arms and legs. I mean, it has something to do with survival..right?? I must have known we'd be living in an apartment that only has two radiators for heat. Only now the bad thing is my fat pants are turning into my skinny jeans and my bra size has gone up from a single letter to a double letter. I mean Justin isn't complaining but COME ON!!!
So this year by June 7th I WILL have my 17 year old body back. So please if you think of it, drop a note of encouragement or ask me if I've worked out today. Maybe even randomly text me and tell me to put down the cupcake and back away. Support always helps.

3) Budgeting. Other than weight-loss this is the curse of my life. Mostly because being a live-in nanny was every single girl's ideal job. No bills. No cost for food or gas or anything. Just being paid to live in a giant house with free first class vacations to exotic countries, and having a maid. Yep. The high life. But now I'm a married woman and my life is over. JUST KIDDING!!! :)

But seriously I have a great job now that pays a lot more but in reality doesn't because we now have, car payment, insurance, grocery, cell phone, rent and all that grown up stuff. So all that gorgeous money cannot be used for $600 dollar shopping sprees whenever I please, or going in for a very long and expensive massage, or spur of the moment vacations... Nope. It goes straight to a little account we call savings. Which is probably what I should have been doing all these years... but hey, I lived it up. But now I'm having to realize that money is something of value and we need it. Not want but need. But I also want to fulfill dreams of traveling and sightseeing before we have kids. Thus, the budget. Whenever I get upset or it's a rainy day and I really really want to go get me some retail therapy I just picture these in my head and tell myself I can hold out for this instead of a new wardrobe:

Morocco 2013

Europe Summer 2013. (This one makes me laugh)

A Cruise. My body WILL look that good by then... I pray my face and head NEVER looks like that..

Oh the places you can go on faceinhole.com.

4) My last big resolution this year is to be a better person in all aspects of my life. Near the top of my list is being a better wife. Trying harder to admit to my mistakes and when I am wrong (though they are far and few between ;) and to become stronger in certain virtues. Such as patience, slow to judge, and a more beautiful perspective on life. I think that for my personality, I feel as though life is here for me to enjoy and to meet and love other people. So when life gets hard and challenges arise where I may not be surrounded by many people, or the ones I am surrounded by are hard to love, I get frustrated and can't help thinking that this isn't fun or this isn't what I wanted. At this point J-curt usually pulls me in close, tells me it's all gonna be alright and if I want things to change I have to be the one to change it instead of waiting around for others to change it for me. Then we go get chinese and a redbox. But all in all, I know that if I gained a deeper perspective on life, and work towards my goals I can become a better person. I'm not as good as I will one day be, but I think I am better than I have been in the past. It's mostly a matter of not being to hard on myself. I want to encourage myself daily and tell myself that progression is a slow process but everyday I'm one step closer to being that better person.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

PS:

I'm thinking about starting a separate blog on marriage. Justin and I are learning a lot and having some pretty funny, ridiculous, angry, happy experiences in life and some worth while stories. We thought that it would be kind of fun to do a his/her blog. Where for some fight or happy moment or life lesson we post about I post my own version through my eyes, and he writes what happened in his eyes and we post them in the same post. Please tell me what you think about this, or if you have any suggestions??? I would LOVE to hear them!

Sayonara 2011

2012-01-01T01:14:00.000-05:00

Best Moment of 2011:

This one.

Here is to a gazillion more years of loving, learning, kissing, singing out loud in the car, fighting over who really left the windows open and using rock, paper, scissors to determine all of our major life decisions. (and the small ones:)

Best Place to eat of 2011:

I'm pretty sure we stopped off here at least once a week. If you've never had it, imagine In-Out. It's NOT like that. ha. Sorry, you're missing out.

Best Vacation of 2011:

Christmas in Idaho with my family. I've missed them SO much! So so grateful Justin and I were able to be with them this year! Counting down until I get to go back home. Love you all!

Favorite New Thing of 2011:

I feel like a ton more creative thanks to this website. Only thing is... I haven't even tried one thing I've pinned yet. ha. Still awesome.

Favorite song of 2011:

Leona Lewis- I Got You.

This song actually came out in 2009. But I just heard it last week. It's on repeat. So I'm counting it as my 2011 favorite song because I can't even think of my other favorites while typing this because like I said... it's on repeat.

Favorite TV show of 2011:

Modern Family (shocker, I know) and Once Upon a Time. I'm a sucker for fairytales.

Biggest Purchase of 2011:

A new Car. This new car- In a different color. ha, it's actually a dark gray, but my phone picture is blurry. I'm looking forward to never breaking down on my way to work for a good many years. And never taking a train or subway to work. HALLELUJAH!

Happy New Year!!!!

I pray that 2012 brings love, joy, happiness, smaller dress sizes, more money, and maybe a winning lottery ticket. Just remember if that's you... I prayed for it. :)

O Holy Night

2011-12-25T22:53:00.001-05:00

A very Happy Christmas everyone! ( Justin's Harry Potter version:) Men with fake British accents are SEEEXXY!!

Justin in his Christmas jammers.

Five Decemberish Feel Goods

2011-12-10T17:57:00.000-05:00

1) Cute Wrapping Paper:

Not sure why I'm so obsessed, but I wish I could just spend a lot of money on whatever wrapping paper I find, because usually if it's cute... I want it. I'm kind of into the brown bag wrapping lately...I imagine myself being some super amazing craft person in the future one day with a room just for crafting and a special spot for my many rolls of adorable wrapping paper that I use to wrap presents for birthdays I shall never forget... Like I said, I imagine.

2) Extra Marshmallows:

I think this one speaks for itself. It's hot chocolate time of year and nothing makes it better than whip cream and extra marshmallows.

3) Sleeping with the windows cracked and having lots and lots of blankets:

It's just me, but it reminds me of camping. When you wake up in the early morning and you cuddle down longer into your sleeping bag because your face is cold and it just feels...AWESOME! But this is how I LOVE to sleep. And I think this is kind of hilarious....

4) Caroling.

I think singing off tune, with a lot of people, belting Christmas songs and having people stop to watch is a lot of fun...I just wish I could do it from within the warmth and comfort of my own home. I'd hook up some speakers out side with the mic on the inside and we could all just sit in front of the window looking out to the spectators... Oh yeah, I'm so advertising this next year...

Is it just me, or do these carolers look like they just found out they were adopted??

5) All the hilarious Christmas episodes on ABC:

Mostly this one:

Can't get enough of this family. We like to say "What would Phil Dunphy Do?" When deciding things like, where to eat, what movie to go see or what Christmas gifts we should buy. It's kind of fun:) We're kind of fun.

Holi-Daze

2011-12-05T12:53:00.000-05:00

I noticed I've been rather grumpy and easily frustrated the last couple months. I think it's due to lack of sleep from my not so convenient job, things not going the way I expected them to, and just not being where I thought we would be by now. But really it's my way of thinking that has done that. I keep thinking things like "when the wood floors are done, then I'll be happy." Or "when I don't have to work this job, than I'll be happy" "As soon as Justin graduates undergrad and we move to Europe for a summer, then I'll be happy"

I feel like I lived so long dreaming about the future, about being married, having my own home, living in New York ect... that the habit kind of kept going. It's like I'll never be satisfied. I still keep thinking about the future, so much so, that I'm missing out on the now. On the part of my dreams that came true, and I don't feel as though I'm enjoying it to it's fullest. Like I'm not really taking in every moment and seeing it as something that I won't get back again.

I also feel as though I'm being a little too hard on myself and Justin. I want us to be perfect. I want us to eat dinner together every night, to read our scriptures and say our prayers together, to be more forgiving and selfless and always making sure the other knows they are loved every stinking minute. So when we're not doing those things to the T I get a little discouraged. I feel overwhelmed and wonder how on earth we'll ever be able to raise babies one day when we can't even do everything perfectly!

So I have expectations about what life should be like. NEWS FLASH!!! I was wrong.

I feel as though I've lost some precious moments the last few months by choosing to be frustrated. And honestly, that kind of sucks. I'm far from perfect. Justin is not perfect. Luckily we have eternity:) I feel as though I want to look at life and my expectations differently from here on out. I also don't think it's an overnight kind of thing, but it will come.

I love my husband. Like a super ton a lot forever. I love our marriage (the ups and learning to love the downs) I love this Gospel. I love my family and everything that I have been blessed with. I'm thankful that instead of dreaming about my future I get to live every second of it, and hopefully take in every millisecond.

So this month don't get in a "Holi-Daze" and let all the moments pass by too quickly. Don't expect the decorations to be perfect, or heck don't even expect them to make it out of the box at all. If you have a moment just think of Christ and remember that He loves you, and came here for YOU! Celebrate Him. His birth, His life and His unconditional love for you. And do it as you hold your family and loved ones close. Or when you're thinking of those that are just a little to far to touch. :)

Merry Christmas

That moment when...

2011-12-01T14:43:00.000-05:00

I've been seeing a lot of people post "that moment when..." and I think their pretty funny. So I wanted to try. I'll post some of my own as of recently and then some others I thought were funny.

That moment after you take out your contacts and realize you can't find your glasses.

That moment when you carry a hot load of laundry out of the dryer upstairs in your arms and realize the warmth is soothing your cramps.

That moment when the elevator never comes so you take the stairs 9 floors up just to watch your next door neighbor, who was waiting with you below, to walk out of the elevator.

That moment when you pull the weird looking quiche out of the oven and notice the three, unused eggs still sitting on the counter.

That moment when you go to get in the shower and remember you forgot to take your socks off.

That moment when you get so excited because you don't have to go wash all the dishes, and then realize that paper actually covers rock and your screwed.

These I can't take credit for:

That awkward moment when someone taps you on the shoulder and says hi, and then they realize they don't even know you.

The moment when you walk into your room and think "mmm I need to clean this" and then walk out.

That moment after waiting 45 minutes for everyone to show up, and realize you're at the wrong place.

Just a little laugh:)

ThankFULL

2011-11-28T18:03:00.000-05:00

In honor of Thanksgiving (and my pure lack of motivation to post anything on that day a.k.a LAZY) Here are some things I am ThankFULL for...

Pinterest: As much as I hate you.... I love you. I crave you. I am utterly obsessed with you. And that's mostly the only reason I hate you.

Toilet Paper: I realized today after Justin left for school and I was stuck with an empty roll and a big dilemma... that life would stink without you. (Also thankful this story ended happily with a spare roll in reach:)

My Stop and Shop card: I love when I get to check out and I see my bill getting racked up and I hand the cashier my card with a look like "sucker" and I see my price drop like 20 bucks... yeah that's happiness to me. Especially lately being a poor newly wed.

A Mattress: That I don't yet have. This whole sleeping on the floor thing is getting old.... fast. My bishop told me last night that his mother found out that after 3 years of their marriage and about to have their 2nd baby, that they still didn't have a mattress and they were sleeping on the floor to! So she gave them $400 to buy one. Mom.... I wish mattress still cost $400 dollars. :) And I don't think 3 years is an option here. It's only bad cuz I know what I'm missing out on!

Scarves: Sometimes my neck gets cold. It's like my neck has it's very own soft warm blanket. Plus their cute. Win win.

Jcurt's Lunch break: Not being at work at all for the last 8 days and counting sure gets lonely! I live for lunch break.

Seester visited! : Love my seester. Had a blast while she was here!! Can she come back now??

Christmas Music! Couldn't even resist this year. Broke them out the day before Thanksgiving. My favorite station you ask? Pandora's Bing Crosby Christmas. LOVE.

Love, Me

2011-11-17T15:23:00.001-05:00

Dear Husband: Finding your cuff links on top of the fridge while deep cleaning last night made me smile. Don't worry, I put them back.

Dear Week and Two days Vacation: Please hurry your little tushy up! Only one more day of work!!

Dear Lil Ginger (A.K.A Joce Babe) PUh-LEASSEE bring some of that hometown fun with you when you come, and PUH-LEASE make me laugh till my sides hurt mmmmk?? Ps. We will have ice cream and late nights, but we'll be eating it on the floor since, oh, we don't have a table:)

Dear Breaking Dawn: Please please please be awesome. I'm spending my last $13 bucks on you. (I know a ridiculous amount to see a freaking movie)

Dear Tom Hanks: Sometimes you are sexier than you let on. "Don't cry Shopgirl, don't cry" JUST SAYIN!!

Dear Waxing Lady: After one of THE most painful waxes of my entire life, and listening to you go on and on about your boyfriend's baby mama drama while I'm doing my best not to "accidently" knee you in the face, you could have at least cleaned all the wax off my skin! Sheesh, never getting a brazilian from you again, because the whole walk home my thighs stuck together with every step and me having to go "ooo!" "Ow" every time I had to pull them apart!! = Not a fun experience.

Dear baking skills: You better start prepping now because this is NOT going to be a bad experience! I am determined! We are making this for Thanksgiving this year....

Martha Stewart's Deep Dish Pumpkin Meringue Pie. (Doesn't look as cool as it really is:)

Dear Captain American, A.K.A Thor, A.K.A Green Lantern, A.K.A, JUSTIN CURTIS: Watching superhero movies with my favorite superhero is the bestest ever. You'll always be the one to save my world when it needs saving. Over and out Captain. XOXOX

Love,

Just a happy thought for a busy day...

2011-11-09T12:51:00.000-05:00

Busy busy...Trying to find a job. While working another job. Missing sleep. Wait, what's that? :) No worries though, happy as a peach:) Why???

Because this makes me happy. Every single time.

I love you, yes YOU!

2011-11-07T13:48:00.000-05:00

Just want to thank all of those who read and comment on my blog! I don't know why I love it so much, knowing that people actually read what I say and like seeing what Jcurt and I are up to at times, but I do!! (must be my undying love of attention;)

So here's to YOU!!!

You Rock.

Love Always,

me.

Somewhere in the middle???

2011-11-01T12:28:00.000-04:00

I am 21 and married. Other than having a best friend to do awesome things with, sharing bank accounts, and falling asleep next to a boy every night.... I'm still me!

I'm having a hard time making friends. Married friends. Now that I'm no longer single or in the singles ward out here I don't know any of the nanny girls really. It's like I'm a whole other world away. And it's not that the ladies in our ward aren't nice or anything, it's that I'm.... not where they are in life. I don't really feel like I can relate to them. I don't have children, I don't have a full blown career ect.. And now I can't relate to any of my single friends. Or they don't think they can relate to me. Either way, I feel stuck in the middle.

I'm still to immature to be all grown up and crap. I miss having girlfriends to go out with on the weekends, or sitting up all night eating so much crap and talking about all the stuff that's going on and ending up sleeping five of us on one air mattress. Or just going out to lunch or hanging out. I still enjoy toilet papering, making madonna music videos dressed up in 80's attire, being dared to do crazy things at 2 in the morning, and laughing until I cry. But to be honest I haven't hung out with just girl's more than once since I've been married. Not even joking. On Nov 20th it will be SIX MONTHS!!! I'm just a tad bit deprived of friends right now.

Don't get me wrong, I love Jcurt and hanging out with him is freaking awesome. I can't get enough of him. But that's the best part about being married FOREVER:) So I'm just praying some other fun couple (s) move into our ward that are more on our side of the life scale. Or who knows maybe their already there and I'm just freaking out and not putting myself out there to find out???

Speaking of Jcurt...

Halloween was quite the thing this year...

We Baked:

It snowed:

We carved:

It snowed some more:

We ate take-out on the kitchen floor after the halloween party got cancelled:

We lit the pumpkins and watched a movie in bed... while it still snowed.

That was on saturday... On Monday we decided to sit on our front porch with our HUGE bowl of candy...

and waited for trick or treaters.

and waited.

and then we got one trick or treater!!!

Then we waited for about 10 more minutes and saw two girls with two little boys walking down the street... away from us.

I yelled "WAIT! WE HAVE CANDY!!!"

They of course came to our house and they said the magic words and I dumped half the bowl in their bags. Their sisters saw and ripped off their school back packs and ran up the stairs saying "OH TRICK OR TREAT!!!" haha.

So we finished the night off dumping all our candy in their back packs:)

It was super fun.

A "it's five o'clock somewhere" type of day. And no, I don't drink.

2011-10-28T14:22:00.000-04:00

Yesterday. Oh yesterday... you were going to be spectacular. I even got up and put on makeup for you!! Truly I did.

The plans:
Go to work, open the windows, put on some tunes and make incredible halloween cookies for my neighbors while the kids were at school! (we were asked by the missionaries to get to know our neighbors better and I thought... Who doesn't like awesome cookies decorated with spiders and ghosts and stuff right?)

How the day turned out:

Pouring. Freezing. Rain. Windy.

Me in my flats, rain boots got a hole in them.

Me being sent on a lot of errands by my employer, and I had to go to Bed Bath and Beyond to get mixers because my nanny family's ancient one her grandmother used finally gave out when I was making apple turnovers... ugh, another story for another time.

So I made the trek in the nasty rain to the subway and headed to BBB on 66th. Went back up to 96th to Michaels to get tips and Icing color (which turned out to be about 2 big blocks and one little block from the subway... 50 points for having my umbrella do this as I came out of the subway....

And then so kindly within one minute it decided to go all Anti- Mary Poppins on me and do this:

and then thanks to my patience ended up....here.

So I walk into Michaels looking something like this:

Oh, BTW it's hard to find a half appropriate picture of a wet girl in the rain on google... won't be making that mistake again. So just go with this one... I was soaking, it was cold. Not dry. End of Story.

So then I stop at the grocery store, my arms full of bags I've been hauling around the city, and buy everything I need plus what my employer needs. I start walking back to the apartment. Still raining.

I finally get situated and start making the sugar cookies. I put them in the fridge and make a quiche for my employer while they chill, scramble to do laundry, and cleaning as well. Finally I'm done cleaning when I hear my timer for the cookies go off, so I start on those! All ......48....Sugar cookies.

Don't get me wrong I love baking... Just not on someone else's times schedule. I'm scrambling here. Not stopping for anything. (I know I'm freaking awesome)

And so far almost all the cookies are baked and I started on my royal icing...

To say I take after my father in the kitchen may or may not be true. Well I guess its only half true... I make a huge mess... but at least I clean it up when I'm finished:)

So at first I made bad dams and my flooding frosting was to thin!

Then I made better Dams.

These dams held up a bit better.

Then I thickened my flooding frosting and the dams worked perfectly. (yes I did just see how many times I could say dams. haha I am so immature.)

My favorite one.

Happy Halloween Neighbors!!

NOT!

After all this hard work and cleaning and then taking care of the kids and just everything, we get home and my cookies had squished themselves in the carrier. They were to say the least ruined:( Justin looked over when he heard me gasp, and saw the tears welling up in my eyes. Before they could fall he held me and said he would help me make some on Saturday:) I still cried. But I love him so much!

Love note for Jcurt:

Hey baby,

Just want to let you know a few things that drive me wild about you:)

1) the way you can do a rubix cube in like 5 minutes flat. And the looks on all the kid's faces when you're done:)

2) The way you can say and do the right things at the right time:)

3) When you tickle my back until I fall asleep ,after I beg you for 4 and a half minutes.

4) When you yell "Hey Shawty!" from the truck as I get off the subway:)

Love you a super ton a lot:)

Fall Love, (According to my iphone)

2011-10-25T13:18:00.001-04:00

First off.... Yes I FINALLY got an iPhone!! And it's beautiful, perfect and white. I love it. Next to my husband of course:)

Kent Falls Connecticut:

Thanks for Birthing me Mom

2011-10-11T20:48:00.000-04:00

So I just have to say...

This was an epic birthday week this year. A most unforgettable one. Like freaking amazing in a -Holy-crap-that-was-so-awesome-i-can't-even-believe-it kind of way.

Wanna know what happened??

I'm pretty sure you want to know...

Ok I'll tell you.

THIS GUY HAPPENED:

hahaha.

Ok ok, I know a bit mushy. But you probably want to know why right??

I'll tell you.

Once upon a time long long ago when I was the ripe young age of 16, I invented birthday week. For myself. Turns out lots of people like that idea for themselves. But that's ok. I was mostly making it up because I really don't enjoy finding out other people who have the same birthday as me. Doesn't make my day feel very "me" and "special" anymore. Not so "MY day" Cuz apparently there are like a TON of other people who were born on that same day. Well problem solved... a whole week about me. I love it.

Because there is nothing like a "Happy Birthday Syd! Sorry I wasn't at your party, it was actually my older sisters birthday to and it was so awesome she had like this huge bouncy house with an indoor pool inside of it and a water slide coming off the roof of our house, plus her birthday cake had dancing ballerina's coming out the top with sparklers.... ect"

NOT COOL!

MY DAY, MY WAY.

Call me selfish, I dare you.

Ok so my brilliant husband did an amazing job of it. I had to work all week of course but that didn't stop him!

Ben and Jerry's Everything But The, waiting for me as I got off the subway.

Chicken Quesadilla's and movie night in bed.

AN IPHONE!!!

A Clean and unpacked apartment!

A Mustard yellow peacoat that I had wanted SO BAD!

An old antique trunk from goodwill that was so gorgeous! I wish I had pictures but i don't. I will soon.

And apple picking at the orchard, and making apple pies! I have wanted to go all fall!

And one night he had planned for us to take a tram (like a ski lift) from NYC to Roosevelt Island, you can see the entire city all lit up, and then out to dinner at my favorite place MAX BRENNER'S! ...But... I really needed a nap because work had drained me, and I ended up sleeping three hours so we couldn't go:( But what did we do instead??

We took our computer to starbucks, ordered a carmel apple spice WITH whip cream, and watched Modern family and New Girl on Hulu. Then got Chinese take- out at 11 at night from the awesome place next to our apartment and watched Harry Potter till two a.m.

Best. Husband. Ever.

To say I got spoiled by this man is a bit of an understatement. Then his parents got me the complete first season of Modern Family on DVD. SO funny. if you've never seen it I recommend it.

And a big THANK YOU to all of those who wished me a happy birthday and birthday week all week long. It was amazing. I am so blessed to have such great people in my life! I love you all!

OVERwhelmed...

2011-10-06T21:36:00.000-04:00

Before I start this post I just want to say one thing....

I know it could be worse. I know I could be all alone walking the sands of the Sahara Desert with nothing but a dog biscuit and an "I'm Homeless" sign. And yes... I know it could be worse than that to.

That little black stick looking thing could be me. I KNOW!

But I think in everyone's life there is some situation where we feel that we are overwhelmed with what is placed before us. It can be anything from hosting your family Christmas extravaganza reunion, to having your husband deployed for a year to serve his country. Each circumstance is different. And each person's ability to endure and press forward is different. So no matter what your girlfriend's vent to you about, don't think "Are you serious? Just get a freaking caterer."

That being said, I'm thankful to all those who don't tell me to get a caterer, and are just willing to listen. I think it's good to get things off your chest sometimes. To just say what you need to say, to be able to let loose and bawl for 20 minutes straight or even admit that you may be going crazy. This doesn't mean you aren't thankful for all the family members you get to prepare the Christmas dinner for, or that you're not appreciative that you have the means to spend $450 at the grocery store for all the food. It just means that it's a little harder than you thought it would be. Or maybe even a lot harder.

We just got our first apartment here on the east coast. It's a bit of a fixer upper. We bug bombed the place two days before we moved in. So you can imagine how I felt when I walked in with a suitcase and saw dead bugs all over the floor, a dead cockroach, and a mouse trap in the bathroom. So imagine again how I felt finding out that the carpet guy wouldn't be here till two more weeks to fix one room, and we couldn't put the wood floors in until next week in our bedroom. Thus sleeping on a mattress on the floor, and feeling the bugs on my imagination crawling on me all night, even though we cloroxed that place down from ceiling to floor, to closets to windows.

I don't know how to paint an attic apartment with all the slope ceilings and walls. What colors will make it look smaller or bigger or where do I stop painting the walls and where does it turn in the ceiling??

I wake up and I'm exhausted. I go to work and I'm exhausted. I get off work and fall asleep on the subway. I get home and I shower and crash. Rinse, and repeat, rinse and repeat.

My weekends are full of catching up on sleep. Therefore, still exhausted, onery, whiny, and a bit touchy.

I get annoyed easily because of this. I feel so so bad for my husband. I'm not even paying attention to everything he's doing right, therefore everything he doesn't do right appears more often to irritated mind.

I feel discouraged with myself spiritually. I know I can be better. I want to be better. I want our marriage to be better. I want to do more service. I want to pray more. I want to go to the temple more. I want to be relief society president! (Ok, I think I just went to far....) I want Justin to do everything I want him to without me having to tell him. I feel like if he did everything I wanted him to do the way I wanted him to do it, then it would be perfect! (again I KNOW, not how it works, and I'm still in touch with reality, I'm just venting here people. We're both working hard in this marriage. I should be working harder obviously.) It's not that our marriage is bad by any means. Marriage is great. It's also really hard work. And I hate seeing other people's marriages from an outside point where everything is so great. I want to know what really goes on. I want to know that other people's marriages aren't 100% perfect all the time either. That they are working at it to.

My kids hate me. I don't really like them either though. Their pretty rude kids to be honest. Of course their parents couldn't possibly imagine that. But it's true. They are. Little punks. I'm trying to give it some time, but after going home crying because of how rude they are.... it's getting limited at how long I'll be working here....Then again... I do get most Jewish holidays off???

I miss shopping. I miss having loads and loads of money and doing whatever I want with it. I hate being restricted by things like rent and food. Oh and gas. What a rip off. I'm weighing my options of buying gas at the gas station in New Rochelle that sells only 85% ethanol... for $3 bucks a gallon. ha.

I miss having friends. Like girlfriends. I miss going out with the girls to the city or just watching a movie or making yummy food. I miss slumber parties. I've lived on the east coast for almost 3 years, granted I left for six months. But now that I'm back, I've only seen one friend. And I love her. But now she lives almost an hour away from me. James...thanks for being a true friend:)

Today is the first day I've done my hair in not a french braid for about three weeks. And its only because I didn't have to work until noon. But I'm still at work now. At 9:30. with a 50 minute commute to look forward to sometime tonight.

I love this city, but honestly I haven't gotten to spend much time with it lately. Because of work. I hate working. I miss playing. I wish nothing cost money. And that the world would let me play in it and do whatever I wanted for free. I wish people enjoyed working so that it wasn't work to them. That way they wouldn't want anything in return for it. And people could live places without paying for things like water and heat. Oh yeah, and wifi. (such an even bigger rip off!)

(I KNOW! But I can dream if I want to:)

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

2011-09-27T09:49:00.000-04:00

It's BIRTHDAY WEEK!!!

Actually it's Justin's birthday week. Mine is next week. Starting Monday October 3rd- Monday Oct 10th. I won't lie, it was kind of tricky working out birthday weeks being married to a boy whose b-day is 8 days before mine. I have a really hard time sharing my birthday, let alone the week! So we decided we would do it starting prior. So his started this last Sunday and mine begins the day after his birthday. Brilliant.

If you know me, you know I don't take birthday's lightly. Especially my own:) Well I have to tell you, I am having SO much fun with Justin's week! Yesterday I had a brilliant plan to fill his backpack up with candy and write him a card that had each name of the candy in the letter. Ex: "Justin, you are one BIG HUNK" get it? Only, I had no clue when I could sneak it all in! So that morning when he got out to fill the truck with gas, as he was paying for it with his back turned I did the quickest ninja moves you've ever seen in your whole freaking life and dumped tons of candy in his backpack with the card and had it all zipped before he could even enter his pin!! BOOYA!!! He's so lucky he married me:)

Little did he know, the card I got him was a Hoops and Yo-Yo one. You know the two little... rabbits?.... Cat's with long ears?...... Stuffed animals???? ..... whatever they are, that talk and say funny things? Well this one happened to be one that said something along the lines of

"Bow chicka wow wow, oh yeah you are getting lucky tonight my friend!! Oh you're gonna get so lucky you're gonna be singing bow wow chicka bow WWOOOWW"

I get a text two hours later saying he had opened his backpack during computer lab and also opened the card. . . HAHAHA I WAS ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING!!!

I am so funny.

So there are many more things I have planned for this great week of his. But I cannot say because he's really good at figuring things out:) Let's just say.... I rock at birthday weeks. They're my THANG:)

So here is a shout out to the hottest man alive, my best friend, and the love of my freaking life.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEEK JUSTIN LEE!!! I LOVE YOU A MILLION LAUGH SO HARD YOU PEE YOUR PANTS KIND OF LAUGHS:)

HERE'S TO YOU HANDSOME!!! XOXO

ps. I was planning on doing a post of the wedding/reception/bridal pics, but I'm not really in the mood right now and I have to go run some errands so until I get the motivation to download a ton of pictures you can find the very best and my favorite ones here.

What's on your mind? (Not a Facebook Status)

2011-09-22T13:51:00.000-04:00

I miss this.

I hate this.

I dream about this.

I should be doing this right now...

I'm sooooo looking forward to this...

This creeps me out.

I L-O-V-E this.

This makes me laugh. So. Hard.

I want this.

But I REALLY want this.

Love, me (The UWS Ya'll)

2011-09-15T10:43:00.000-04:00

Dear girl on the 6:30 pm crowed subway: Let's just say you're lucky you got off four stops before me, because I was about to voice what everyone else was thinking "WE DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THE KESHA ALBUM OVER AND OVER AGAIN THROUGH YOUR HEADPHONES!" Turn it down please.

Dear (most) Upper West Side Mom's: I can't help but watch you. You are fascinating to me. Not that your bad or anything, it's just you are a whole other breed to me. I can't help but laugh at your physical NEED to be talking every single second. And the way you wear incredibly glamorous clothes everyday, but don't bother to put a trace of makeup on or do your hair ever. I must say kudos to you though on this, I haven't seen one of you that doesn't have incredibly toned and skinny legs. You must take spin class like twice daily.

Dear UWS Nannies: I have to apologize that I haven't noticed you more until I started working as one of you. But I easily pick out all the nannies, and didn't realize there were so many! I mean almost every other person on the street is a nanny. How can you tell? (I'm not being racist or anything, I promise it's honestly the truth) Because every blue eyed, blonde baby has an adult with them that is either black or Asian. And it's usually an older woman who would be more like a grandmother than a nanny. Like off that movie Arthur, you all know Hobson right? It's kind of like that, only not that old.

Dear 1 train: We cannot ever be friends again if you turn the AC off during the 6:30 run like you did yesterday. When your cars are so packed with people that you don't have to hold on to anything because every part of your body is touching someone else's body, so basically we're all holding each other up, then we start having problems. Because once you shut the AC off, people start to smell. Bad. . . (shudder) Just please, don't let it happen again.

Dear Amsterdam: So far your selections on restaurants has been amazing. I am loving just walking home from dropping off the kids at school and deciding which ones I'd like to try (turns out to be all of them!)

Dear corner of 81st and Broadway: I don't know what it is.... I don't know where it came from... and I don't understand how it's the same every single day... but you smell like the worst stench of PEE I've ever smelt in my life. I feel like I need a gas mask every morning just to get by you. Nasty.

Dear Rooftop View: I love looking out the windows and seeing people chilling on their roofs. It just looks like a mass maze of buildings and then all the sudden you see people in lawn chairs soaking up the sun... it makes me smile.

Dear Doorman: Thank you for calling me to sweet to be from NY. I'll never forget I'm just a country girl in a big city.

Dear paper girl: You ALWAYS make my day when I come out of the subway in the mornings. I love the way you yell "FASHION WEEK! HEAR ALL ABOUT IT! CAT MAKES IT'S WAY TO NEW YORK FROM COLORADO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT!!" in your super loud dramatic voice.

Dear one particular UWS Mom: Thanks for not recognizing me the other day at pick up because I didn't wear my glasses, straightened my hair, and wore something cute with a tad of mascara. My favorite part?? When you said "Oh my goodness Sydney! I didn't even know that was you! Wow you're actually really pretty under there!" (give me a break, I'm not a morning person alright?)

Dear San Generro Festival: I can't believe it's been a whole year since jcurt and I last walked the streets of little Italy during this fun huge street festival. Can't wait to do it again tomorrow night! Who knows, maybe we'll win the Canoli eating contest??

Dear Better 3/4: Being your wife is freaking awesome. You rock my socks off baby! Can't wait to go apartment hunting with my favorite boy this weekend, cross your fingers!! XOXOX

Oh, Hey Irene.

2011-09-02T12:35:00.001-04:00

So a little lady named Irene came to visit us last weekend... well hurricane Irene that is. Since we're in Connecticut we didn't get the brunt force of it. And definitely not as bad as the southern states. But she did do some damage when she passed through. The lower cities of Manhattan were evacuated as well as most of Long Island. The trains were closed down and before the hurricane even came they shut down all the subways lines. I however...

Slept through the whole thing.

And this is what we woke up to the next morning....

See the snapped in half telephone pole?

The tree was swaying in the wind the next day and decided to come over the fence for a swim.

We got our power back on tuesday night, but there are still places in CT without power. They expect to have everyone up and running by Saturday or Sunday. I can't imagine going a whole week without power!!!

Funny Story

2011-08-24T17:52:00.000-04:00

So the other day Jcurt (husband) and I were in Manhattan and had some time to kill after the temple before I went to a job interview. So as we ate some delicious Gelato, we decided we would go see a movie.

At the movie theater we found out that the only movie we could see had started ten minutes ago. We decided to go anyway. Not that it has a lot to do with this post, but we went and saw One Day. Good story concept, I want to read the book, but the movie should have been rated a lot differently. I don't recommend it.

Anyway, back to the story. So we walk into the theater and of course it's pitch black to us, having just came from outside. All the sudden I realize Jcurt isn't with me anymore. I can faintly make out his figure walking to the front of the theater. So I follow him. He slides into a row near the front on the side, thinking that nobody would be sitting up there on a tuesday at midday. All the sudden I hear a

"Hello, I'm here!"
And then Justin apologizing over and over.

It took me a second to realize Justin had sat on a lady. And she being black and his eyes having not adjusted yet he didn't even see her at all!!!

We all bust out laughing. The lady kept saying over and over how funny it was and don't worry about it. But of course I can't stop laughing that my husband just sat on somebody in the movie theater.

poor guy. Good thing he's so good looking. The lady probably wouldn't mind if he accidentally sat on her again. Just saying. :)

Thanks for the Memories

2011-08-24T14:23:00.000-04:00

The Boys (And Jennifer)

So last week I said goodbye to my buddies at "work" I won't lie I miss them and that job a LOT. It was so much fun and of course they always kept me laughing. They had a goodbye party for me before I left, with cake (even though the boys tease me that I'm supposed to be on a diet) and my goodbye present from my older brothers who hired me (jake doesn't like being called boss or sir, or Mr. Perkes, so of course I call him that all the time:) ....

A Tough camera. And yes I had tears coming out of my face when I got this. I have wanted one so bad since I even knew they existed! Plus I was really going to miss them! So here is what this bad boy can do:

It is up to 5 feet shock proof, so basically if you drop it, it's cool and no damage done.

Also up to 16 feet waterproof. which means we can take VIDEO and pictures that look like this:

Love, Me

2011-08-11T12:25:00.000-04:00

Dear Magnolia Cupcakes: 5 days, 12 hours and 4 minutes until I can hold you in my hands and stuff you in my mouth. It will be an unforgettable reunion. And probably very messy. I'm already drooling.

Dear New Followers to the blog: Can I just say one thing? I LOVE YOU! Nothing makes you feel better than when people want to follow your blog. High five.

Dear Wedding....Reception: Please be perfect. I promise I'll be a real good girl and not ask for anything for a really really long time. Just work out mmmk? You know the bit, blue skies, lots of people, no technical difficulties and everything stays unbroken. Thank you.

Dear Perx Security: I've loved you so very much. Such a great job. But today is my last day. And I am quite sad. I don't think I'll ever get a level 10 clearance in any other job again. So much for feeling like the freaking President of the United states. Oh well.... *sigh* it was fun saying to customers "You probably shouldn't get upset with me sir, I have a level 10 clearance you know" :)

Dear Home made marshmallow Fondant: We had a long run you and I last night (and Joce and Justin and Mom) after making 16 pounds of you, I'm more than grateful we had a kitchen aide. Doing that by hand would have been as bad as 100 farts in church! (and not the good kind)

Dear Rockstar Husband: You've made my week. You have been incredibly loving and supportive of me through this whole crazy time of planning and preparing. Thank you babe. Sometimes I can't get over how crazy in love I am with you. MISTLETOE!!!! ;)

PS to Husband's love, me.... here is a little taste of what we have to look forward to for thanksgiving:

Puerto Rico

Avril Lavigne and Underwear. Nuff Said.

2011-08-10T11:12:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about friends lately. About how much I freaking miss them. Living here for the summer has been awesome, but I am excited to go back to NYC because of all the girlfriends I have there.:) And then I thought of this one friend who I have only seen once in the last two years, but through those two years (which I consider two of the biggest most hardest years of our lives so far) she's been my go-to girl. My Best Friend basically. Through every text and phone call in the middle of the night or pretty much anytime of the day she's been there for me, and always helps me put my head back on straight. So here is a shout out to Ms. Kerilyn

This is probably after she found out that my little brother had a huge crush on her...

Personally, if she wanted to wait like five more years I'd be totally ok with that....

Love you.

Bring it on...

2011-08-03T13:56:00.000-04:00

So get this, I am making my own wedding cake. Sometimes things don't work out when you're planning a wedding. But that's ok:) We take what we get and we roll with it. So trust me it WILL look like this:

So here is what I have so far:

Cake dummies for the bottom 3 layers, the top will be real cake for the cutting.

I have white fondant, the silver diamond wraps, fondant roller and smoother.

A super mom in our ward is teaching me how to lay the fondant on the cake so I can practice for a few days before I make it the day of our reception.

Call me crazy. I hope it turns out ok.

I'm "youtubing" how to pipe the flower decals out of royal icing to dry and put on. Actually I'm youtubing almost everything.

If you are reading this and you know a lil sumthin sumthin about fondant or the flower decals PLEASE I BEG you to leave me tips in my "Whatchya Think?" tab at the bottom of the post.

Oh yeah... and pray for me. 9 days!!!

Understand this.

2011-08-02T13:03:00.001-04:00

Do you ever feel like you're not understood? I'm sure if you're a woman you're nodding your head right now. Not to say that some men don't feel understood, it's just that usually... men are simple. On a rare occasion you might find a very deep and emotional man (then you'd know exactly how to handle it because their basically like you:)... but usually men are very easy to figure out.

But the one thing that's hard to figure out is why they can't figure us out. Just so everyone knows I am in no ways bashing my husband. He's doing amazing for what he got himself into:) I was generally just thinking about this. But speaking of him we've only been married two months and I am getting used to having to tell him "I want you to do this when I am acting this way" or "When I am making this face or doing this, it means that I'm upset about something and I want you to get it out of me" :)

It is quite the adjustment really. Justin is not one of those deep men. He's very simple and straightforward. He can't read my mind or know how I'm feeling. But that doesn't mean I don't want him to. haha but I know I can't expect that of him. It's the never-ending mystery of Sydney Nicole!!

You see I am like a house. You have this gorgeous (yes gorgeous) amazing house on the outside, with lots of furniture inside. You can go in one day and take a tour of the house and see everything, and come back the next day and all the furniture is moved around and I've changed everything. The house is still the same but all the rooms are different. Some people aren't used to that. They don't realize that when you look at the house from the outside it looks the same but inside it's TOTALLY different. The real stand-off is am I going to invite people inside for a tour or wait for them to figure it all out. As great as the house is, sometimes I have a hard time opening it up for tours. I think that's because sometimes I feel content with people just stopping to look at the outside instead of coming in, but then there are days I wish they would just break in. But that's against the law. So they probably don't want to get caught and go to jail:) But maybe they should try to anyway. It might turn out ok:)
DAY ONE:

DAY TWO:

Something like that:)

You Know Better Than I.

2011-07-25T12:36:00.000-04:00

When you're sitting next to the window on an airplane and looking out right at sunset, or even just being in the clouds...Do you feel closer to Heaven?

I always think of that on an airplane.

I've been thinking a lot about AmyLynne today. Trying to hear her voice and remembering some of the times I got to spend near her. There weren't a lot of them. I think that's the thing that I regret the most. I don't know if regret is the right word, I just didn't know her as well as everyone else. I didn't get a ton of memories with her. But that's ok, I still love the ones I do have.

It still feels surreal sometimes. You don't believe she's not physically here anymore until you feel her around you. Then...you just miss her. And I don't understand it. I don't understand why it was her. I don't understand the timing or the reasons or how it happened. But then I realize I don't have to understand it right now. Just because I don't know why, does't mean that God doesn't. He knows better than I do. He knows the reasons. And I'm ok to let Him have those. I'm ok to let Him take on that responsibility. I just have to make sure that I do my part and what I can to be able to see her again. To talk to her, to hug her, and just say "I missed you"

I just want to be on an airplane right now...

Love, me

2011-07-22T12:18:00.000-04:00

Dear Ringo Starr (A.K.A husband) I can't help but smile and wish I had an electric guitar every time you get out of the shower and start playing the drums on your thighs. We could start a family band. And be famous.

Dear Sonic: I have never craved a hot dog or even had my mouth water for one until I saw yours on tv. I would run the 13.9 miles from my house just to get to you. I think. Ok I take that back, I would drive the 13.9 miles just to get to you. Don't disappoint me, I made an effort.

Dear Mama: Is it ok that I miss being tucked in and kissed every night by you? (Even at age 20?) I mean Jcurt does a pretty good job, but I sure does miss you. :)

Dear 24: I may or may not have cried a little when President Palmer was shot. He was such a great man. Well at least we know now that he's "in good hands" (get it?)

Dear Motivation to look sexy everyday: One question for you....Where the Heck did you go???? Being a wife is great, but seriously I could go for an all out makeover or at least some mascara. I can't even remember how many days its been since I've worn my contacts instead of glasses.... I hope you come back soon. I need some swagger.

Dearest Mr. Curtis: Being married to you is more fun than the funnest thing in the whole world! We rock. Can't wait to see you after work and find out who gets kicked off the bachelorette:) XOXOX

and an extra "O" because you're my favorite.

love,
me.

Oregon Fun

2011-07-20T15:29:00.001-04:00

Last weekend Justin and I drove up to Oregon to meet up with my family who was there for my dad's work. Despite the seemingly way to long drive of 6 hours, forgetting my swimsuit, being called the "mom" of all the kids at church by some lady, (I was sitting with all my siblings husband AND MY mom!) we had a lot of fun and wish we could have been there longer! We stopped along the way at some ridiculously huge wagon on the side of the road and read all about Prairie City. . . super exciting town.... cough*

We went swimming and played racquet ball, basketball and rode bikes around Eagle Crest (where we stayed) and just had a good time relaxing and being together! Oh yeah and we also went and saw the new Harry Potter movie... Now what do we have to look forward to now that it's all over???? Justin was pretty depressed. But we loved it all the same!

Baby How We Spoon Like No One Can...

2011-07-19T12:04:00.000-04:00

So today I had a FREAK OUT!

If you know me a freak out usually means I'm ready to run and try to leave my problems behind. This was a different kind of freak out, but a freak out none the lest. (Is it lest or les?)

I was sitting there at work and looking at the little wallets from my wedding day that I have taped on my desk. And I realized that tomorrow will be two months since I've been sealed to my sweetheart for time and all eternity....Then I freaked out. IT'S ALREADY BEEN TWO MONTHS?!?!?!

Where did the time go??? Where ever it went it went by WAY to fast for my liking. My heart started pounding really hard and fast and my breathing started getting faster as well... I NEED MORE TIME!! I wanted my time with Jcurt to go by as slowly as possible. I don't want to blink and already be grandparents! I want to be young forever! I don't want this time of our lives to be over. I know I might be over reacting a bit, I mean I'm only 20. But my mom was 20 once a long time ago to!! (love you mom) I'm just saying, I love this time of life, and I'm pretty sure I don't want it to end. I know progression comes and babies and other wonderful things, but I'll never get this back. So I want it to last as long as possible. And to make the best of it.

Like how we went to bed angry last night for the first time. Never again. Last night sucked. I'm pretty sure after I got up and cleaned everything and took a shower at one a.m. and he was tossing and turning all night, we got about three hours of sleep. But this morning we both woke up with a better perspective. (The letting me sleep in and breakfast in bed probably helped a lot to:) About how we didn't want to go to bed angry anymore. It just wasn't worth it. Then this morning turned into an amazing morning after that. Life is good.

I don't want it to end. EVER.

Good thing we have like.... Forever hu?

Ewww... What's on your face??

2011-07-15T17:36:00.000-04:00

This is a funny/awkward/are you serious?-but-I-can't-help-but-laugh, story.

The past week and a half at work all the guys have been making fun of the humungous zit on my right nostril. Now, before you judge them and call them big meanie jerks, I have to tell you...

This thing is HUGE!

I've had many a zit in my life, but nothing compared to this sucker. So far this thing has had FIVE heads. Yep, pretty freaking disgusting hu? And no matter how many times I've popped the thing it just somehow grows back.

So yesterday I call up this nice gentleman who is about eh, let's say 45ish. Anyway he is a good guy who doesn't have a job and is how do I say a little off his rocker??? Like he tells me all the time how he thinks I'd look much prettier with my hair down and to have it nice and straight next time he comes over. Now, don't get me wrong I am in no way making fun of this man at all, I just have to kind of give you a little detail on him so you understand why he may have done what he did....

Anyway I call this man because he makes some money collecting and recycling people's cardboard, so we let him come pick it up. Well he walks in yesterday and says "Whoa! What's that on yer face?!"(Oh, also he's SUPER hick. Like the Christopher Reeves of a trailer park)
I nicely reply that it is an extra planet that fell out of the sky and somehow managed to end up and take control over my nose. He made a pretty grotesque face and shook his head like he was trying to shake out a bad memory.

So he scooped up his cardboard, didn't say a whole lot else except to tell me about his allergies and that he's lactose intolerant and anything but goat's milk gives him gas...and was on his way.

THE GUT BUSTER:

So this morning I get into the office do my usual routine, and check messages. Well here is what I heard on the answering machine:

"Hi Cindy, this is Russ. Now listen carefully, if you take some garlic and vinegar and mix her up real good, and then be sure to get a hot towel press with the mixture on it and that oughta suck out all the fluid out of your face from that, that, that ZIT. Well just thought I better call and tell ya that." Click.

It took me a second to realize what just happened because I'm methodically writing down what I hear so I look at my notepad and it says:

Russ, Garlic and Vinegar, press hot towel to your face. Fluid ZIT.

I couldn't help but laugh. And of course everyone was laughing in the office! You just can't beat his voice though... Too funny.

Needless to say this mothership on my nose better go away soon or I might end up smelling like garlic and vinegar for a while...

We've got our love to pay the bills

2011-07-13T14:47:00.001-04:00

Jcurt loves the crap out of me. Know how I can tell? When I pick him up from work and he takes me straight here...

I love fun. I love arcades and laser tag and mini golf and all of it. And he hit the jack pot. Wanna know one of my favorite parts? Watching Jcurt do the jump rope and trying to skate board... Oh and getting all the bad spins at mini golf. Observe:

The Skate boarding:

His bad luck spins at Mini Golf:

And his amazing jump roping skills. This boy is Amazing! Except the computer won't upload the video:( It was awesome!

We had a blast! We played games and won tickets and I will admit this only once, but Jcurt did beat me at mini golf... But only by two points:) Thanks for an amazing surprise babe! I love you!

Our Ticket prizes : a Candy necklace and a bag of tootie frooties.

4th of July!

2011-07-12T18:18:00.000-04:00

There is nothing like family, food, water fights and home for the 4th of July!

Jcurt and I drove down to Cache Valley for the fourth weekend. It was great because my cousin Zeb was baptized that same weekend! We ended up having basically an amazing time. Nothing like Fireworks at USU, Aggie Ice Cream, Jumping in First Dam, and hanging with the family! Justin was able to get a little taste of where I'm from, but I can't even wait to bring him to rodeo weekend in a couple of weeks! :)

Dax thought the rubix cube was called a "holler" because when he said look what I have Sydney I said "holler" ha.

Zeb and Rich. Haha love Rich's face in this one! Amy, you've got yourself a winner! ;)

This is how Amy really feels all the time. Confused:) JK! Love you!

Trying to soak up some sun...

Haha, two peas in a pod.

No wait I take it back, this is how BRIAN always feels...

Aggie Ice Cream

Random if not silly thoughts

2011-07-08T16:11:00.000-04:00

I think I love the Mormon Messages sight. Check it out here.

I am NEVER going to part my hair down the middle ever again. BIG mistake. My forehead may or may not look like it's about to give birth. Not being self critical. I love my forehead and I love my hair but that type of combo.... sheesh.

I hate when I am craving something so bad...but I'm not what it is I'm craving! haha but I love that Jcurt try naming off as many foods as he can to get me to find out what it is I'm craving.

I think California wants me. Seriously I hear it calling my name ALL the freaking time. I'm like "Leave me alone already ok?!" It can't help itself though..

I want Sparklers at my reception.

Cliche? Maybe. But I love them so so much.

I cannot figure out what other type of food goes good with cupcakes. Seriously. Mini cupcakes, but what other kind of refreshment goes with them?

I am NOT pregnant. haha. But sometimes I want to be. Justin knows this. He tells me to hold a baby at church to calm my hunger. I then realize I could wait a few years. Want to enjoy the freedom Jcurt and I have right now. But mark my words... there will be babies! And from what the women in our ward keep telling us they'll look better than these supermodel babies:

Yep. That's what they keep telling us! Cross your fingers because one day we're going to make the world's cutest baby....

Home is Happiness

2011-06-28T22:30:00.000-04:00

So I wasn't sure what to post on next. Justin and I are loving life together. Everyday we find new things about each other that we didn't know and we love it. I can't get enough of that boy.

I always said I wasn't going to turn this blog into a "I'm so freaking crazy in love I want to talk about it all the time and let everyone know all the mushy stuff" after I got married. haha. But spending all my time with Jcurt, he's all I want to talk about! And everything I do now I do with him. It's amazing to be my best friend's sidekick on all of our adventures. :)

But I'll try and not do a whole lot of mushy stuff. TRY.

But hey check out our FIRST place together! It is beyond perfect for us. Seriously we love it so much we wish we could take it back east with us price and all. And it worked out great. I was really stressed out trying to find a place for us after we decided to get married two weeks from our engagement, but at the last minute.. like the day we got back from our "honeymoon" a lady in my ward called and said she's kicking her tenant out because he's always late on rent. But he wouldn't be out for a couple of days. No biggee. It's just an apartment above their garage in a neighborhood in Star. Of course we said we'd take it. Not expecting anything, (more like expecting a very small and crammed place) we went to move in. It was WAY better than we ever thought. Granite countertops, washer and dryer, two extra full closets in the entry way, a really great sized living room, full bath and kitchen. Great tile floors and it was clean and has AC/heating, dishwasher and private porch! We love it. So much.

Entry into our bathroom & a love note for Jcurt on the mirror:)

Mmm, mmm.... Mr. Clean???

Looking into the living room & Kitchen from the entry hall

Our sad little tv that we keep thinking is a computer screen.

Our couch. Not getting a lot of decorations since we have to move back east in a month and a half, but I got these a long time ago. My NYC old school pic and my classic Audrey Hepburn.

He was on a roll cleaning. :)

View of our bedroom from the door. We stole that side table one day when Joce was gone from her room. haha.

We don't have closet doors... And I can't make a bed very good. haha.

Corner desk that the previous tenant left.

Our front door, The washer and dryer are in a closet stacked and the first closet by the door is all my other clothes:)

We're headed to Cache Valley for the 4th of July weekend! Can't wait to take Jcurt Fluming, bridge jumping, fireworks at Romney Stadium, Laying on the grass watching the stars, cruising main, maybe throw some rocks at the water tower and grab a few "Preston Sno" snow cones! I can't wait!

What are you doing for the 3 day weekend?!

I was never that cool, but I won't be taken for a fool...

2011-06-24T11:09:00.000-04:00

Husband and I went to roaring springs for two tickets tuesday, and afterwards headed to DQ for a blizzard. Justin didn't want to pull up without a shirt so he grabbed one from the bag and put it on... I look over and see this.

Belly button hanging out and every detail of his upper body through the shirt. Haha he picked up my shirt and threw it on. I laughed so hard because it reminded me of this one time...

HAHAHA Love you Babe!

Nothing beats Summer time...

2011-06-24T11:05:00.000-04:00

Justin and I went running last night and it was the perfect time of evening. If your an Idaho girl like me you'll know what I mean. The sun was going to set in about half hour, forty five minutes, you're running along the pavement, to your right the pipe sprinklers are watering the fields next to the road with the sun hitting every drop of water. You turn to the left and you can see all the way to the horizon because there is field after field of everything from wildflowers to alfalfa. You pass horses grazing in a field and the smell brings back a million and one memories. The sunset is to die for as you get home and eat an otter pop on the front porch with the family you love so much. All while watching some kids ride four wheelers up and down the canal.

Summer's in Idaho are my favorite.

I do wish we were in cache valley for the summer time. It's just hard to beat a cache valley summer. But I'm happy because I'm still here in Idaho. I wouldn't trade my summer here for anywhere else!

So now that it's finally starting to feel like summer, we've been doing summer things! We all drove up to the cascades last weekend to go camping. We had so much fun!

Tearing it up on the Rhino

Yeah...she spits in the wind.

mmm... love my fisherman.

fire ant hill that Justin insisted on poking with a stick a bunch of times....such a boy:)

Late night ride on the Rhino = FREEZING

Then what is summer without a parade or two??

We actually hit up the Eagle Idaho Wet and Wild Parade, which I have to say was the most fun parade I have ever been to. The first half of the two hour long parade is just like any other parade:

Cheerleaders, the tire shop, the rodeo queens, getting popsicles, candy and beach balls thrown at you...(oh and they even handed out BBQ ribs and toweletts to people!)

Then you start taking random pictures while the parade is stopped for a while during the less exciting parts....

But the second half of this parade something awesome happens...

All the sudden everyone around us either moved their chairs back ten feet or out of nowhere pulls out a huge water gun and opens up their coolers (that we assumed were full of drinks) and starts loading their guns with water.... What the???

So we go check it out...

This is what we see, a huge wall of water down the street coming out way... (you can't see it very well in this pic, sorry.)

So I start booking it back...

But of course husband won't let me and is determined to get me wet...

Which he does...

But then we decided it was so much fun and couldn't help but laugh and wait for the big floats with the most water...

Best Parade EVER!

I love you a Bushel and a peck....

2011-06-18T17:40:00.001-04:00

So sorry for my late post. We've been a little busy;) haha just kidding. But really this is the first saturday I've had time to just sit down and do some blogging!

If you want to check out our wedding day pictures just click on this link: Photo # from Justin & Sydney Curtis | Pictage And to the right you'll see a "View Folders" and under that it has "My favorites" Those are my favorite ones:)

Marriage is... not what I expected. haha. I love it, don't get me wrong. It is the most amazing feeling waking up to Jcurt every morning. And coming home to him after work. It's just going to take some work to adjust to one another. I do love that I'm learning things about him that I didn't even know after a year of dating! Some things Jcurt does that I just can't help but smile...

1) Instead of getting up to shut the light on his computer off, he reaches over into the closet and grabs one of my shirts to throw across the room to cover it. haha. He ended up using three of my shirts:)

2) Our first week of marriage, if I ever moved or shifted in the night, his hand would find mine. He holds my hand all night long. Talk about romantic.

3) He makes THE best bacon egg and cheese bagels EVER! Trust me. Just listen to me eat one:)

4) I got to clean our bedroom and I go over to his side of the bed and find our candy bowl there with wrappers of jolly ranchers:) Even when I move it, it will usually find it's way back. This boys got a sweet tooth!

5) Love notes on the bathroom mirror make me smile HUGE.

6) He reads/watches sports channels every ten minutes or when the conversation dies down. I think not having a tv is killing him for that reason only. haha.

7) He can jump the back fence without hardly any effort. And no hands.

8) He is a total blanket hogger. Times ten. :)

9) He hasn't bought a new article of clothing since before his mission. He keeps most everything he has in pretty decent shape.

10) He hates buying things we need. Like toothpaste or deodorant. Not because he doesn't like it, he loves it, he just feels it's so dumb to spend so much money and it bugs him that we HAVE to spend that money. haha.

Life with Jcurt is wonderful! I know it'll get even better as we learn more about each other. It's an adventure.

Justin Curtis, of Star, holds his wife Sydney in the way of the water spray from a passing float on Saturday during the Eagle Wet and Wild Parade.

FOREEEEVVVVEEERRR

2011-05-25T20:55:00.000-04:00

Dream Wedding dress: $200
Flowers: $45
Hotel Room: $80

Forgetting to buy shoes-having the sun come out and rain disappear for pictures- and being surrounded by amazing friends and family on the day that I was sealed to my true love for time and all eternity....

Priceless.

More on the happiest day of my life to come later.

My Third White Dress

2011-05-15T19:38:00.000-04:00

The dress search has finally ended. And basically with an awesome story to it. . .

Ok I'll tell you the story:)

So one late night, many many months ago, I was doing the normal blog stalking. With those that are not to familiar with that it's when you check out the blogs on other people's blogs. And you read about people's lives who you have never even heard of before. It's actually pretty fun (if you don't let it get to your head that some people's lives seem a lot cooler than yours). So I found this one blog and this couple had just gotten married and she posted pictures. I'd never read this blog before, but the moment I saw her dress I basically fell in love with it. Everything about it was just exactly what I could ever want. So I saved two of the pictures on my computer, shut her down and went to bed.

Kendal and Benjamin Hess

Now many many months later, here I am, engaged and deciding to get married TWO weeks from my engagement date. I know, what was I thinking?! Anyway, I started looking for a dress. Nothing. I was starting to get a little discouraged. Nothing had what I wanted that had the elegance of the lace, and the neckline I loved so much. And we didn't have time to get one made either. I mean come on TWO WEEKS!

I decided to try something totally random and crazy. I wanted to find this dress. So why not go to the source? I started stalking blogs trying to find the one I found my dream dress on. No such luck. I couldn't remember where I found it. When all else fails, you take the picture to the one place you can find basically anyone.... Facebook.

I've shared my feelings about my love of Facebook before, and this proves them all to be that much stronger. Turns out my friend Amber Gallman (who is like the queen of the blogging world, it seems like she started a blog and then everyone else did to. haha. Love you.) She didn't know the girl in the picture but she recognized the groom. She went to high school with him. AWESOME. So I face booked him, and saw who he was married to (thank you relationship status's) and sent her a message, asking her where she got the dress. Turns out they live in Utah and she had ordered two dresses off Ebay and had them made into one dress. She said she would love it if someone else were able to feel as beautiful in it as she had. So she said she would let me use it for the summer. At that moment I basically almost started crying I was so excited (I'm kind of emotional. Check out the PMS posts;) My only worry now was that it wouldn't fit. That super cute girl doesn't have a booty like I do. Let's be honest people, you're all really nice but ya'll didn't nickname me Butious in jr. high for nothing:) I'm ok with this. So is Justin ;) haha. WHOA T.M.I! jk.

So we drove down to utah friday night and saturday morning stopped by her house to try on the gown. The moment I put it on I just KNEW I loved it. It was, of course my dream dress. And even better.... it fit. I was ecstatic. It was everything I could do to not explode with happiness. How wonderful that everything had turned out right? Even on such short notice. Even at this moment I am still just SO happy I got my DREAM DRESS.

Can't see me in till the big day du:)

Five more days. FIVE MORE DAYS. Pray for me:)

MY Side of the Story

2011-05-14T21:55:00.001-04:00

          So Sydney has been bugging me for a the last couple days to post my side of what happened on our proposal. At first I wasn't to excited for it, and even now I'm not to psyched about it, but after some motivation, and convincing, here I am, writing what really happened. I planned out this entire day at the end of which I was going to ask the girl of my dreams to marry me. We got up early to drive into the city and do some baptisms. It was a great experience and a glimpse of what it what Sydney will look like in white when we're married in 6 days. The only problem was that we showed up a bit early, and we were done significantly earlier then I had anticipated. This started a chain reaction that made us significantly ahead of schedule all day.
       Now the only thing thing that was absolutely set in stone was that we HAD to be at the top of Rockefellar Center at sunset for the big moment. So we walked out of the temple at about noon, which means we had about 8 hours to kill. We headed over to Shake Shack to get some lunch, Sydney was kinda quiet walking over but I assumed she was just tired. We ate our lunch in a packed Shake Shack, (It was delicious by the way). Sydney was still quiet, but she litterally lit up for the first time since the temple when I told her I was renting a rowboat for us in the Central Park Lake. We were on the lake, and I really wasnt too good at rowing, it was more like bumper boats with me, but I eventually got the hang of it, and we were even told we looked like the royal couple on our way back.
         So now we are still significantly ahead of schedule, so we head over to the pond where they race sailboats, and just took a nap on the bench. After that, we decided to get some cupcakes at Crumbs which were not nearly as good as I thought they were gonna be. So being way ahead of schedule, and Sydney not really wanting to walk a lot due to some crazy blisters on her feet (I still don't understand why women go through so much pain just for some cute shoes), we decide to go to a movie.
         I'm kinda disappointed because the day isn't going exactly how I planned, but I started getting really excited when it was time to go to Rockefellar Center. We stopped by the car so Sydney could switch into some even cuter, yet more painful shoes, and headed off to Rockefellar Center. We got to The Top of the Rock and walked around a time or two. I kept stealing looks at Sydney, she looked stunning. We stopped and watched the sunset for a while then came the big moment. I got down on one knee and asked Sydney to spend the rest of her life with me. (If you want the full dialogue, keep reading a few posts down.) Luckily she said yes, and the rest is history. People cheered, and clapped, confetti fell, and music started playing, and we rode off into the sunset.
        In the end, the day wasn't exactly how I had planned. But it turned out pretty perfect. Just goes to show, Life doesn't always play out how we want, but as long as do our best it'll usually turn out pretty good.

Crazy kids..

2011-05-08T00:18:00.001-04:00

Big news... Justin and I are like half eloping. haha. We planned on getting married on September 10th this year...BUT because I freak out sometimes and depending on the day, is depending on if I want to get married or not. So I text Justin one night (sick of the roller coaster) and said "let's elope."

He said "How does europe sound?"

Basically I said I was serious and we set the date for 15 days later!!! haha. He couldn't help but laugh:)

May 20th. Salt Lake City Temple.

Call us crazy...

I'm starting to feel the stress of it.

Don't worry announcements will go out this summer for the reception and open house later on:) We're kind of doing it backwards. Wedding > Engagements > Reception. My poor photographer. But by the way you should check him out. I've wanted him since like Mrs. Burgess's class my Sophomore year browsing the internet. Sorry Mrs. Burgess, I only surfed the web AFTER I finished my work ;) Anywho the photographer is www.brodydezember.com He's da bomb.

I'll keep you updated!

The Pictures

2011-05-07T11:37:00.000-04:00

My good friend Stephanie Hyde took pictures of the proposal. She was hiding up on the upper deck:) Thank you SO much for these Steph! I'm so happy to have pictures of this:) '

I love him. Holla.

The Proposal

2011-05-04T21:31:00.002-04:00

Ok everyone, here it is! The story you've all been waiting for! haha, it's a good one that's for sure. I know those who know me really well or have read my PMS posts, you'll get a good laugh out of this.

I'M ENGAGED!!!!

The back ground info you need to know:

Justin and I were both incredibly exhausted. I have severe jet lag and we've been out playing and staying up late with early mornings (thank you construction workers, but seriously Miriam LOVE the new doors!) And at this point in time I had no idea I was pms. (found this out about two days later. Thank you Aunt Flo, ps. you suck) Just to give you an Idea of how tired we were here is Justin after about an hour of registering at Macy's the day before (we even laid in the mattress section for 30 minutes, where the sales lady decided my name should be Catherine instead of Sydney because apparently I was looking like Kate Middleton. Nice.)

So the day of:

We get up at the crack of dawn (7 a.m. for me is EARLY, especially when my body still thinks it's 5 a.m.) to drive into manhattan for a baptism session at the temple. The temple was great. I love the feeling I get when I'm there. Justin was able to do the baptizing and confirming and it was just such a good experience to share with one another. But we got there ahead of schedule and were in and out a LOT quicker than Justin had anticipated. He wouldn't tell me where we were going next the entire day. So after the temple we walked down to the Shake Shack. Imagine IN 'N OUT burger.... multiply it's goodness by 100. That's the Shake Shack. It was really really good. So now we have some food in us, but I'm still dragging my feet and getting irritated by EVERYTHING Justin is doing and saying. Then it starts irritating me that this is irritating me. What the heck?!

We start walking down 77th towards central park. I ask him where we're going and he can most likely hear the irritation in my voice, SO being as incredible as he is, and knows that if I'm irritated like this, it's probably just best to tell me instead of push it. He says he rented a rowboat on the lake in central park. Dream # 26 on my list. This boy makes me smile. So I get all excited and a smile comes on my face. I can't believe he remembered. We get into the boat. He looks so awkward with his long skinny legs and the tiny space between my seat and his I can't even help but laugh a little. haha. Good thing he's so cute. ;) He starts rowing and trying to get the hang of it. We crash into a few other people, but it's all good. Until the breeze comes out and the sun goes away and I am so exhausted and just irritated I become grumpy and quiet. Awesome. Here is this prince making my dreams come true and I basically want jump into the lake and sleep for ten years, maybe then I'll wake up happy. Then he tells me he's kind of bummed out. I asked why, and he said because his plans after this can't happen until 7. It's two o'clock. He said the temple didn't take as long as he thought it would. So I do feel a little sorry for him but in my mind I thought "What the heck are we going to do for five more freaking hours?!"

So it starts getting cold and I'm in a dress. We start paddling back to the boathouse (yes, the one you see in all the movies) and as we pass this old couple with their grandchildren the old man says to us "Well if it isn't the royal couple themselves!" haha. Justin and I got a good smile out that. That's TWICE someone has said that.

What I was doing....

The handsome man I was doing it with:)

We walk around for a bit and come to the pond in central park where kids are racing toy sailboats, and the sun is shining. I ask if we can stop and rest. So we find a bench and I lay my head on his shoulder. I was OUT. Then sun would come and go and when it did I would wake up cuz I was cold. This is so frustrating to me. I am exhausted. And I just want a big warm bed to lay in. But instead, we go get some cupcakes. Then we got the idea to kill some time and go see a movie. I was pretty happy about this, because it meant I could sleep right? WRONG. I wanted to see Prom so I stayed awake the whole time. It was about high school and love and crazy young kids with the world at their fingertips. So what do I do after it's over? I go into the bathroom and I have an epic "Sydney Freak Out Moment" I bawl and bawl and call my mom and freak out.

"I'm to young to get married"
"I'm so irritated"
"I'm exhausted and just want to go home"
"I dont' think I can go through with this"
"What if we can't make each other happy?"
"Is this going to be the biggest mistake ever?"

Then my mom reminded me that I KNEW it was right. It was the right thing to do. I had confirmation from God that He was pleased with this decision.

I calmed down. A little bit. Reapplied the makeup and went out to meet my boy.

After the movie we still had an hour to kill. So he took me shopping:) SERIOUSLY, SO LUCKY! We found a pretty sweet deal at Banana. He said I looked like I was in my element there. haha. When he said it I was, of course, irritated. But now I look back and laugh at how dumb I was being. So after that we took the subway to our car, I switched into high heels and we took a cab. He made me cover my ears when he told the cab driver where to go. When we pulled up to the Rockefeller Center I got SUPER excited! Still incredibly tired and my feet....they were in hell. I had blisters up the wahzoo. And now these heels were going to be the death of me. We got up to the top right at sunset. It was beautiful. I forgot about everything and Justin just held me and we watched the sunset. We walked around and he looked and me and asked where my favorite spot was. I said this spot.

He took his hands in mine and said "Do you remember the first time we came here? How we had those bracelets you got from Costa Rica, one for you and one for the one you love?"

I said yes.

My heart beating a little faster.

JC: "And remember what you said when I asked you "What would you do if I pulled out a Tiffany's box right now?"

I said "No, what did I say?"

JC: "I don't know, I was hoping you would remember. hahahah"

S: "hahah I think I said I would cry."

JC: "Yeah I think you said you cry."

Justin gets down on one knee, and pulls a beautiful ring out and says....

I honestly can't exactly remember. I had started crying at this point. It was either "Will you spend forever with me and be my wife?" Or "Sydney will you make me the happiest man in the world and be with me forever?" OH my goodness am I not the world's worst fiance for not remembering those words?!?!

But I said Yes.

Crappy Camera:(

And everyone started clapping and telling us congrats. It was pretty great. 12 year old girls came up to us and squealed and giggled saying it was SO CUTE. haha. That was awesome. PLUS my good friend Stephanie Hyde was hiding up on the upper deck and Justin had asked her to take pictures of it!!! How awesome is that?! I'll post them as soon as I get them from her! But we then left the city ASAP, called parents, and grandparents on our way home, grabbed Dominos and then crashed:)

It was perfect. Well I look at it now and the entire day was perfect and he is the sweetest for making my dreams come true. hahaha. Darn you PMS!

But the most important thing is that I get to be sealed to the love of my life for all eternity. Marriage isn't going to be easy. We have our testing times for sure. And it is going to be a lot of hard work. But I love him and he loves me and we both love the Lord.

A letter to my love:

My Dearest Mr. Curtis,

Can you believe we're almost there? You were right when you said this has been one heck of a roller coaster ride, but I wouldn't want to ride it with anyone else. I know I constantly change my mind about everything, I'm moody and a little high maintenance. :) But you make up for everything that I lack. You make sure I always know I'm your princess. I love you for that. It hasn't been the fairy tale I always imagined since I was a little girl.... but we're making it into something better:) You are so patient with me, and even when I want to yell and scream at you or fight, you SOMEHOW calm me down before we even get home to talk about it. This can sometimes be frustrating to me. haha, but probably for the best:) I just want you to know I love you and I cannot wait to be your wife. I can't wait to learn all the quirky little things you do. Like if you organize your sock drawer, or if you squeeze the toothpaste or roll it out:)
Being married isn't going to be easy darling. We're going to have a lot of hard times ahead of us. Times of testing and trial. We'll have to stay close to the Lord and include Him in all of our decisions. I know if we do that we'll grow closer and more in love every day. We're going to have to learn and grow from one another. Be strong where the other isn't so much, and always, always do everything we can to make sure the other knows they are loved. Whenever you ask me to go somewhere with you, even just to the bank, know that if you ask, I'll drop everything and go. Med school is going to take up a lot of time, so any chance I get, know I'll go with you.
But we'll have a lot of happy and wonderful times as well. All of our wonderful adventures no matter how big or small. Making breakfast with you every morning, going to europe for the summer to visit family, camping and family sunday dinners. I'll probably go crazy and hand you the kids sometimes when you get home, I hope you can handle that. :) haha. Come what may and love it right? We're going to be so happy babe! I love dreaming of the future with you. Soon babe.

I love you. For like... ever:)

love,
me

The Countdown is OVER!!!!

2011-04-22T23:21:00.000-04:00

Psych . (I feel like that word should be spelled syke, I know, I"m dumb)

Come on people I said the next few WEEKS not the next few days for the countdown... Sheesh.

So some funny things:

I have the secret to a lean and sexy body within NO time. Honestly. I came upon this little miracle today while at the gym. Here is how my experience went.

I have in my mind that I can ONLY do 25 minutes on the elliptical. So that's the time I set. And either I don't stay on the full time because "8 simple rules for dating my teenage daughter" ends before the time is up, or there is nothing good to watch on the little mini tv attached to the machine. (I get bored easily) So today I actually started the same time 8 simple rules did, (thanks to the lady who decided to hog the tanning bed, you'll get skin cancer you know....mom tells me that like every day) and anyway 8 simple rules was just about over when.... BAM

My old nanny employer calls me up. Love this lady. She can talk. So we talked. For about TWENTY mintues! I vigorously kept ellipticalling for TWENTY more minutes! I didn't even realize this until I hung up on the phone and looked down and What the Crap??? I've been doing this for 45 minutes?!?!? I felt AWESOME and burned twice as many calories.

My plan for losing weight....

Calling as many people as I can while at the gym. I may be out of breath and you can't really understand me.... But just go with it. I think I need to get me one of these....

Rewind about 20 minutes from the awesome elliptical story and I'm driving down highway 44 with the window down.

Then what happened to me was a near DEATH experience.

Here I am cruising nicely down the highway, window down, sun shining brilliantly upon the earth. I have a little music playing and of course I'm singing along "I"m bringing sexy back...WHAT!" (imagine it, it's worth it I promise.)

So of course I'm just minding my own business, driving the speed limit and staying 5-6 seconds behind the car in front of me when....

A BEE flew into my window!!! I am going roughly 55 miles an hour and a freaking BEE zooms through the ONLY open window I have. So what does miss Sydney do??

I freaked.

Yep, I swerved and I honked and I screamed really loud and shook my head like crazy. I thought it was in my hair!! So finally after almost running into on coming traffic I pull over, (I didn't even turn on my hazards I was so freaked out) and I jump out of the car immediately and do the bee dance. Don't act like you don't know what that is either.

So by the time I realized it wasn't in my hair (and all the rubber neckers stopping to enjoy the show) I got in my car took a second to breath and reached for my phone. BEE ON THE PHONE!!! I had like a panic attack that sent me into shock and refused my body to move. Pulling it together after seeing the bee's wing was broken, I somehow moved the bee off my phone with an envelope and onto the ground outside. I shut my door super fast and put the car into drive. I felt like bees were crawling on me the rest of the day.

If you saw this going on while driving down highway 44..... I hope you laughed. Because I was far from laughing at that point. But now it's totally ok. :) Laugh it up peeps! If it's really even that funny. ha.

5,4,3,2,1

2011-04-20T18:59:00.002-04:00

Sigh. So many countdowns to look forward to. I know I'm being vague as I say this. But there is a reason. I will explain in.... Like ten days? Keep an eye out for it!

Love, Me (short version)

2011-04-10T23:40:00.001-04:00

Dear Happy Feeling: I'm so glad you decided to stick around. This is going to be the best year of our lives. I can feel it!

Dear Motivation: I'm praying you kick in so I can work out in the morning. You know I'm not a morning person, so you're going to have to work extra hard to get my lazy butt up in the morning.

Dear New Bestie: WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?! Seriously. I love you like a fat kid loves cake. again. Oh and cardboard cut out.... on it's way. (I may or may not have snuck a goldfish and a bottle of Jack in there as well... just saying)

Dear Mom: You. Are. The. Greatest. your phone call tonight... made my life the best ever. Even though I didn't think it could get any better, it did. Love you sooooooooooo much.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!

2011-04-07T23:47:00.001-04:00

Ok Ok I know I posted today already and only like four hours ago. BUT PEOPLE, Check this out...

All my life I've heard boy bands sing of girls. Girls named Brittney. And Jamie. And Sandra, Monica, (mambo number five about killed me) Stacie, Katie... the list goes on and on and on and on... But in this list is there ever a song about SYDNEY?!?! You can think I'm totally selfish about this, because well, I am. I'm a die hard romantic. Can't there just be ONE song in the entire universe about SYDNEY??

I once expressed my broken hearted feelings on this topic after FHE one night in Connecticut. My friend Josh was present and a few others and they just giggled at my dilemma.

WELL... Tonight I login to Facebook (for the 20th time today) and what has Josh posted on my wall??

THIS

My heart pounded that even the title said "Sydney I'll come running..." They even spelt my name right!!!! Of course I am obsessed with this song. I'm not exactly sure what it's 100% about. . . but I don't' even care. Someone out there probably fell in love with a girl named Sydney and then decided to write a song about me. (ha, just go with it, I've waited my whole life for this moment)

Josh. You. Are. Amazing.

Never give up your talent for finding songs about me ok? ;)

Lyrics:

Okay - Alright - Alright

Sydney, whenever you feel unhappy

All you have to do is call me

I can make you laugh

Sydney, I know that you were wrongly accused

I hope you don't lose your sense of humor

Allegations made in the school yard

Soccer moms gossip in the dog park

Their bark is worse then their bite

They're only a couple of crazy cougars

They're bored and spreading their desperate rumors

You know that I was never that cool

But I won't be taken for a fool

If they wanna talk trash

They can talk, talk, talk

But they better come correct

And if you ever need me, call me

I'll come runnin' straight to you

Straight from the airport

(I'll come runnin')

Cut through the customs line

(I'll come runnin')

Bust down the courthouse doors

(I'll come runnin')

Sydney, I will testify

(I'll come runnin')

Sydney, I will testify to ya

We were in the basement

Just giving our blood on stage and

Pretending that we were famous

While you were getting framed

I went back to my room in Surrey Hills, yes I did

I didn't know you were in trouble until you came in

Just as skinny as a twig in my kitchen

And told me I was looking at a dead man

I said, "Sydney, you're wrong."

There's a lot of good people living in LA, yes there are and

We won't let nobody take you away, no we won't

You know I was never that cool

But I won't be taken for a fool

If the wanna talk trash they can talk, talk, talk

But they better come correct

And if you ever need me you just call me

I'll come runnin' to you

Straight from the airport

(I'll come runnin')

Cut through the customs line

(I'll come runnin')

Bust down the courthouse doors

(I'll come runnin')

Sydney I will testify

(I'll come runnin')

Sydney I will testify

(I'll come runnin')

I will testify

(I'll come running')

I will testify

(I'll come runnin')

to ya, to ya, to ya

Sydney whenever you think you need me

Call me up and I'll come runnin' straight to you

I was never that cool

But I won't be taken for a fool

If the wanna talk trash they can talk, talk, talk

But they better come correct

And if you ever need me you just call me

I come runnin' to ya

Straight from the airport

(I'll come runnin')

Cut through the customs line

(I'll come runnin')

Bust down the courthouse doors

(I'll come runnin')

Sydney I will testify

(I'll come runnin')

Sydney I will testify

(I'll come runnin')

I will testify

(I'll come running')

I will testify

(I'll come runnin')

to ya, to ya, to ya

I will testify

Ollo

2011-04-07T18:18:00.001-04:00

In case you didn't know "Ollo" is from Megamind. Du. Watched it. Loved it. Quote it. Mostly at work. With my ~~Bosses~~ two crazy guys who own the place, and act like children. I. LOVE. MY. JOB.

So funny.

I didn't really start posting anything today with a certain topic in mind. I've been a little out of it this week (thank you PMS, lack of sleep, Midol + Ibuprofen, and whorish cramps) So I'll just share some silly thoughts and stories I guess.

Like I said before ADDICTED to words with friends. For all you slackers on my blog lately, that's an app for playing scrabble with people. So I've been playing like two to three games a day with Justin. And at first I was losing HORRIBLY. Seriously. He was kicking my butt. So I decided to do what I do best whenever I'm losing at games I play with him. I cheat. du.

Side story: Once at cracker barrel we were playing checkers. He was winning. I moved a piece with him seeing it. It wasn't my turn. He said no no I don't think so. I acted innocently and told him to prove it. haha. Yes I'll admit I was super annoying with that game. I've never seen him get upset until then. hahaha don't worry, we laugh about it now.

Anyway, so our games were pretty quick and to the point. The point being Justin is a freaking champion. So of course I find a website that puts words together that are ridiculously high scoring. But to make it seem like I was just smart, I used normal, yet a bit higher scoring words. Eventually I got addicted and started using bigger words. There were words such as "cologos" "Hafiz" "zygote" "diazin" and "cabotages" haha.

Then I get a text from J. He says "You don't even make it look like your not cheating anymore" hahaha. Basically he knew I was cheating the entire time. Turns out he cheated a little bit to. We then decided to play a game where neither one of us cheated. It was sad. We had words like "rat" "broom" "sit" "read" haha. So we decided to go back to playing it with cheating every once in a while. He learned to take all the triple words scores and I just laugh every time he gets a gazillion points for adding "ed" or "s" to the end of my words. We're so funny.

Story numbre two.

I went to a wedding over the weekend. A beautiful girl I used to nanny with years ago. haha. I just said "years" because I can. I love that it makes it me sound so old. Anywho. Such a cute couple and SO fun to see the nanny girls. Turns out though.... I was the only single nanny there form the first time I went out to the east coast. Yep. AND get this, the one moment I brake away to pee after 6 hours in a car and an hour of dancing... She throws the Bouquet.

Alacia, you're insanely gorgeous. love you.

It's ok though. My cousin got married yesterday and I was geared for this one. NO way was I missing it. My chances were good. There were like four or five other single girls besides me, AND I prepared. The whole ten yards.

I pumped myself up with strong thoughts. "YOu are gonna OWN that bouquet." "Not one girl gets past you" "All these suckas are gonna leave crying"

I stretched. Lunges. Arm stretches. Toe touches. Toe raises.... eww NOT! I'm in a dress.

(OH and I may or may not have tipped of the bride to throw it to the left)

APPARENTLY her left was to the RIGHT!! That girl it looks like I'm mauling... It's ok. We're related. That's my little sister. The chase kept going, but ultimately, she won. I swear if she gets married before I do....

#3

Friday. By Rebecca Black. I almost feel bad for this girl. This song is so terrible.

I just can't decide if I want to kick it in the front seat or chill in the back seat. I'm so confused.

The Joke's on...well me.

2011-04-03T00:02:00.001-04:00

I hope all of you are enjoying your conference weekend thus far. I know I am. I just love love love conference! Honestly it's such a renewal time. A time to hear the things that are most needed in our lives at that time to better ourselves and become closer to Christ.

On another note, of course I had to tell you all about my April Fools jokes right? Last year turned out to be a dud. I had spent about an hour changing all the millions of clocks in our huge house, only to find out their all set to reset themselves to the right time at midnight (just incase they get off time) yeah, my employers got a kick out of that.

So this year I hadn't really planned anything, but I got to work early to see if I could come with anything. First off I text my boss and basically TOLD him I had JUST decided to go camping with my family and I wasn't coming in. But that I left my list of things to do on his desk and they had to be done TODAY. I basically said good luck. haha. Only he totally ruined it because like a half hour later when I'm working, he called the office instead of my cell and of course I answer it. Dang.

But then I am just so excited with my new prank. I had put a giant cup of water on the top of his office door and opened it only a crack so he'd have to push open the door when he came in and SPLASH! haha. Good right? So of course I go back to working and get into my rhythm. I had to pull a file, so what do I do? Seriously people, if you know me, you know I'm to say I actually got up without thinking and went into his office. YEP. Let's just say the prank WORKS. And it works GOOD. I was soaked. my hair the most. And it was cold.

Luckily I was headed for SLC this weekend right after work. So I was able to fix myself up... kind of. My boss walks in and I'm in sweats, HEELS, my shirt and jewelry and my hair up in curlers. Yeah, I was quite the sight. But I am SICK with excitement because I had cleaned up and reset my prank.

He hands me paperwork bla bla bla... and heads for his office!!! AHHHH! I can't even handle it I'm squirreling with anticipation. And then...

He pushes the door open and walks in as the water passes right behind him.

Seriously. I mean SERIOUSLY?!?!? Good heck I even had it TESTED and it worked!

I couldn't even believe it. I was so mad. Of course he just laughed. Two years in a row I get jipped on my pranks. Don't worry, next year is going to be EPIC.

I promise.

My day summed up in one word.

2011-03-29T19:18:00.002-04:00

GYNECOLOGIST

Not awkward enough for ya? Don't worry, I'll spare you all this time.

Mostly because all sexiness and feelings of womanhood go right out the window the moment you walk in and get saddled up. (literally spoken)

I Thank Thee

2011-03-28T18:00:00.001-04:00

Lately my mind has been chaotic. (ha, I say that like it never was) But it's more of an overwhelming feeling this time. The last month or so I've made changes in my life that are putting me on the path to becoming a better person. And yet, I feel I have so much to "fix" about myself that sometimes I don't even know where to start. So I pick one bad quality that I want to make into a good quality. Take patience for example. I'll give it to you straight:

I do not own patience.

Being a nanny was incredible, and you'd think I would learn patience from the children right? Well I think this is a different type of patience. With the kids I just feel like a part of their world, and we see eye to eye on a lot of things. I'm not saying there were times where I didn't want to lock myself in a closet and scream, but I think seeing those precious babies in front of my face I was able to take a breath and remember how much I love them. So here is the type of patience I'm talking about:

I never spend more than ten minutes on one machine at the gym because I get bored with it, unless they have a tv on them. Then if Friends or King of Queens marathon is on, I could probably work off 2,000 calories.

If you're texting me and you don't text back in five minutes or less I either stop talking to you cuz you're driving me nuts being a slow texter, or I resend the text I recently sent you:) More the second one. haha.

If you have a surprise for me and you TELL me you have a surprise for me it will drive me insane, and I can't just sit and be patient (there's that dang word again) waiting to see what it is. I WILL get it out of you one way or another.

I also have a hard time with being patient with time. Sometimes I realize I can't have something I want right away and it's going to take time to get it. This is the hardest. It's having it right at my fingertips yet not being able to reach out and grab it quite yet. I have to give my arm time to grow. haha. I know silly analogy, but hey, that's me.

So back to the point, I feel like once I work hard to accomplish a quality enough to feel good about it, and that it's become a part of me (not patience, I'm keeping that one for last:) then I feel great. . .

Until I look at my 7 page list of things I could do better and be better for. It's as if my heart sinks a little bit. How will I ever be the person I want to be in the amount of time I want to be it? I won't. I think it's an eternal process. We won't ever be perfect in this life, but we can do all that we can to strive to be perfect. And I have to realize, that's what counts.

So I've decided when I'm feeling down about stuff like this, I need to take the time to thank my Father in Heaven for the many wonderful things He has given me. Call it the attitude of gratitude if you will. I heard that once and it's always stuck with me. So here are some things I am truly grateful for and daily thankfuls:) :

1. My family. Their crazy. Their loud. Their funny. But I couldn't have picked a more wonderful family than them.

2. My knowledge of the Gospel. God's plan of Happiness for me, I know families can be together forever , and that Jesus Christ is my Savior. And I love Him.

3.Thankful for my job. Thankful for wonderful employers who treat me more like a little sister than a secretary and even bring me surprise sushi and are able to laugh and joke. I'll miss this job a ton!

4. Thankful for the experiences I've had in life, both good and bad. They've made me who I am today and I don't regret a single one of them. I feel stronger and better for having gone through them and having them prepare me for greater trials in the future.

5. I'm thankful for food. I love food. It's so great. I'm pretty sure it loves me to. Actually I know it does, because it never leaves my body:)

6. I'm thankful for such a wonderful best friend. For everything we've been through together and everything we will go through together. It's so great to be able to have someone who knows you inside and out, through and through. How blessed I am to have that in my life.

7. I'm thankful for mercy and forgiveness. In all aspects of life and from everyone. And to be able to know how it feels to receive it, makes us that much more willing to give it.

8. I'm thankful for my little brother Hayden and how he helps me paint my right hand fingernails because I'm so terrible at it:) (don't tell him I told you this or he'll freak:)

9. I'm thankful for the Book of Mormon. What wonderful lessons and stories it has. I am totally addicted to Alma right now. It is also a blessing in my life.

10. I'm thankful for all the wonderful people who have come into my life ever. From the next door neighbors who helped raised me, to my high school pals, to the leaders I've had in my life, to the children I've helped care for. Every single one has made an impact on my life in some way or another. And I am better for it.

Love, Me

2011-03-25T18:23:00.001-04:00

Dear crazy restless dreams: Please please find someone else to torture. I'll give it to you straight - My. Body. Can't. Handle. It. Anymore. The end. (I even bolded it so you know how serious I am)

Dear freak hail/insane wind storms that come in the middle of the night: I mean come on!! Combined with dreams mentioned above, I'm pretty sure I ~~may~~ will become one of those walking contradictions on the starbursts commercials. And it'll most likely be the "living dead" one.

Dear love: You are so weird. Seriously, I don't understand how you can make life feel so incredibly happy, and so incredibly hard just at two different times, being the same emotion! See, weird. You really gotta figure yourself out, cuz you're killing me here.

Dear laundry: I'll give ya ten bucks if you fold yourself. (FYI- mom would only offer you five. Trust me, you're getting the better deal here.)

Dear Troy Boss: I am super nanny, (most of the time) So trying to make me nervous for babysitting your kids tomorrow night and saying you have seven, (even though we all know you don't) AND coming up with fake names... is not going to work. Bring it on Sucka! ;)

Dear future: Please be filled with sunshine (summer) adventure, love and happiness. Oh and as many Magnolia cupcakes and Max Brenner's BLT's as possible. Gracias.

Dear Mom and Dad: I hope you had a fantastic get away for your anniversary this week. And I'm more than happy to say this WELCOME BACK!!! Love you so much!

HAIR! Or not....

2011-03-23T18:07:00.000-04:00

A lot of hair things going around here the last couple weeks.

First off I want to say Chubba earned over $500 dollars for the St. Baldrick's money for cancer event! It was so much fun to go and watch him and my grandpa go up there and shave their heads. I couldn't believe how many people stepped up to volunteer. One that really touched me was a group of mom's called the fourth floor moms. The fourth floor is the Oncology department at St. Luke's hospital in Boise. They all got up there and had their heads shaved. I was almost in tears. Especially when on of their kids who was diagnosed with cancer got up and started talking about cancer. I think he was about 7 or 8 years old. He said things like,

"Yeah cancer isn't so bad, once you get over it."
"It's just Chemo, not really that bad. You just gotta do it"
"It's all how you look at it. When I couldn't use my right hand (he holds it up) I just switched to my left hand!" (switches the microphone in his hands)

He was so positive. He said it like, du. So what I can't use my right hand, I still have my left. It made me miss AmyLynne so much. Sometimes, even though you know she's in such a beautiful place now, you still can't help but miss her.

The Fourth Floor Mom's

This girl is holding one of her pig tails!!!

On another "hair" note, I have a story for you about my other little brother Dylan.

So my parents took off to Seattle for their wedding anniversary this week and left me with the boys. I'm not complaining. I'm just not a morning person. So the fact that Hayden gets up for school at 6 a.m. in no way appealing to me. But the little boys wake up at 7:45.... mmm nope. Still not feeling it. So I have them make their lunches the night before and come kiss me goodbye before they leave. I think I can handle that. So yesterday morning Dylan didn't come kiss me goodbye. But I was sleeping so I didn't realize it until after they'd left.

After school Chubba comes in and tells me how he was the only bald one for crazy hair day. I laughed and said that was awesome, and asked where Dylan was. He answered me that Dylan was shooting hoops outside. So I thought nothing of it. Then I had to run Chubba to scouts. As I'm pulling out of the driveway I notice that Dylan's hair is RED. I roll down the window and ask him how he got it red.

"I spray painted it."

me: "With REAL spray paint, or hair paint?"

"The stuff we used on the pinewood derby cars, in the garage" (thus, it was real hard core paint)

Me: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my goodness Dylan, that is not coming out of your hair!"

I of course called my mom and we laughed pretty hard over it. We decided that I was going to have to shave it off. That night. (Little fact: I've never cut a boy's hair before. Let alone used clippers)

So what does Miss Sydney do when she doesn't know how to do something??? Previous readers should guess right....

I youtubed it.

Yep. I sure did. And then I went to work. I was pretty confident that I could just move down each guide on the clippers until all the red was gone. Turns out it was pretty painful for Dylan. The paint had dried and using the guide (with the comb extensions on it) had to comb through it. NOT fun for him. So I just decided to ditch the guide and use it without them. Turns out you can't do it very evenly without the guide. haha. BUT it's ok because the red paint went all the way down to his skin, so it was pretty short. After I got all the dried paint off best I could I used the smallest guide to make it even. Even though I can't say the hair around his ears turned out so great.... Hayden told me to just use the clippers and make a nice fine line around the shape of his ears...

Welp, the clippers are shaped straight across. Dylan's ear line is curved. haha. Let's just say he's gonna have to get a touch up. . .

Before. That's all dried chunks of paint.

That's the end result. He had to SCRUB his head to get MOST of that paint off his head.

And I know you all are ridiculously intimidated by how stunning I look. It's ok, I wear the sweats and oversized t-shirt very well, so I'm told. Don't feel bad about yourself, with much work and little faith, you too can look that good. :)

Also, just because it's so freaking funny, here is a picture of Hayden flexing his "muscles"

(side note: Hayden shows us his muscles all. the. time. He'll walk into the kitchen with his shirt up. He even let's us know when he finds a new one.)

What I Thunk

2011-03-22T21:49:00.001-04:00

Just some little random thoughts I've had as of late...

Lately I have been having bizzaro (even though it doesn't count in scrabble, it is a totally a word) dreams. Like seriously weird. And I have like three or four a night and wake up between each one thinking "What the..." It's starting to take a toll on me. I'm exhausted. I've resorted to energy drinks to keep me awake at work. I even worked out everyday last week and ate nothing unordinary. Somebody tell me what's going on??? I feel like this...

I love scrabble. My friend introduced me to the words with friends app and I'm addicted. My vocabulary is improving extensively (see, I used extensively instead of a lot:) I have yet to win a game, or participate in a spelling bee, but I'm sure with words like "zeba" and "zygoit" it'll come soon enough.

My little sister. She was voted to sing the prom song for her senior prom. And nominated for prom queen. They haven't picked yet, but I'm sure she'll dominate. I think of how different high school was for both of us. And I'm so glad I'm not there anymore. But I"m glad she knows who she is and she could care less what other people think of her. She's amazing. I love her guts.

The way things don't always work out like we think they might, or how we want. I never ever thought I'd be where I am today this very day. I believe things happen for a reason. It's not easy accepting that though sometimes. I feel like things should be different, but their not. But like I said, once I can accept that I think other things will fall into place.

A good book. Seriously I'm in the mood for something with mid-evil times. If you know any, recommend them to me in my comments.

Gracias.

Hey! Hey! You! You!

2011-03-17T23:07:00.000-04:00

This is Ms. Kerilyn Kelley. She passed her boards today at Paul Mitchell the School. Fist pump! If you see her you should go up and tell her she's awesome, and hand her a box of otter pops and a diet coke. Just go with it.

Let me tell Keri and I's love story. Well actually there are too many to count. But that's part of the reason we're such good friends. Even though I haven't seen her since the day we graduated (not even joking) she has been one of my very closest friends since then. I think it started out that we both decided to graduate early and venture out of our small town to bigger and better things. To us, that meant nannying. But while I went to the east she went to Utah. So of course we kept each other caught up on meaningless gossip and the men in our lives, because we were so past high school:) But I think it was because she and I had that in common that kept us in touch. Now I don't think I go a week without talking to this girl. Through my ups and downs of the last two years who was the first person to hear about it?? Yep. Ms. Kerilyn. Who was also the one to tell me I was being way to emotional, and not looking at the logical side things, or to tell me I was being stupid and I needed to follow my heart? If you guessed Keri again you were right.

So here's to you Ms. Kerilyn. From the time we stole your boyfriends car and rocked to Avril, to all the drama in our lives, and now to being long distance work out buddies. You're amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better friend!

love me.

p.s. it's your turn on words with friends. It's been like a whole freakin day.

Star Light, Star Bright, and other Awkwardness

2011-03-16T03:30:00.000-04:00

On Monday March 14th 2011 we took our sweet family dog to be put to sleep. She went with a huge sigh of relief, literally, as we held her and spoke to her. The past two months she all the sudden just got old. Then about two weeks ago she started having seizures. Sunday night she had one every time she tried to get up. They were horrifying to watch. The first time I saw her have one I broke down and wanted so badly to help her but couldn't do anything. I felt so helpless. Here was the dog who had loved me unconditionally more than half my life, suffering like I couldn't imagine and I couldn't help her. If any of you have ever had this experience you know how incredibly heartbreaking it can be. For those of who haven't (I used to be one of them) you probably think it "ain't no big thing, happens all the time" or you might not think that, who knows.

Star was the most unique dog. We were truly blessed to have her in our lives. She was picked for us. We got her as a puppy for Christmas 1998 and since then we have loved every second of her.

Some memories I have of Star are when we would go anywhere as kids star would come with us. Specifically I remember walking to gymnastics "up town" in Preston and Star would walk us there and lay down by the door, occasionally looking in on us, and would wait until we were done and walk us home. Never once did she leave while we were in there.

Her smile. Yes Star smiled. Literally. Whenever we came in the house, or went to play with her she would smile up at us. Some people thought it was threatening until she was wagging her tail and kissing you at the same time.

She loved to ride in the back of the truck, and go anywhere and everywhere with us. She used to lay on our beds at night until we fell asleep and then she would get up and go sleep in the living room. She used to try and eat the spinning fireworks every year and singed her whiskers.

When Chubba was a baby he would torture her by pulling on her lips and ripping out her hair and sitting on her and she'd take it, and then just stand up and move away. haha. She would rest her head on your lap and you couldn't help but rub her ears and kiss her.

She was very protective of us, and loved us so very much. And because of her love and our love for her, having her go was harder than I ever thought losing a dog could be. She was a part of so many of my memories and experiences from my childhood. Even coming home late at night on the weekends to have her jump off the couch and come kiss me goodnight won't be forgotten.

Miss you so much baby girl.

On a lighter note.....

K so I am super awkward sometimes. Seriously, I have moments where I blush and avoid looking at people because... I don't even know! I'm just awkward during awkward moments. I think sometimes I even make moments awkward that don't even need to be! Yeah go figure that one out!

It's like that one commercial that used to be on like forever ago. The one where the lady walks up to a (bigger) lady and says "Oh my goodness, you're glowing! When are you due?"
Bigger Lady: Uh, I'm not pregnant!
Awkward Lady: oh, uh...Thank You?"

(see even just typing that feels awkward)

Yep that's me. The "Thank You" girl. I even use that phrase during an occasional awkward moment when I catch myself. But usually I don't. And lately it's been so funny. I think I'm on like a phase of awkwardness. Like how men feel in the time when they start becoming men to when they actually do. Personally, I don't think I ever went through that stage as a girl. It was like Friday I was in a training bra and BAM, on monday I....wasn't. haha. And it was totally cool and painless. (well until all of this went down)

Haha and I'm not complaining, I'm sure I'll come out of it... or maybe not. But either way, I love that I can laugh about. Like I'm sure the people I'm around are like, okay what is her deal... But I still think it's hilarious.

These have "awkward" written all over them:

Church dance. Nuff said.

A short Love, Me

2011-03-12T02:58:00.001-05:00

Dear Dad: For the last time NO, I will not pull your finger.

Dear Batch Number 3 of Grammy's Brownies: It's true what they say about the third time being a charm.
(sorry batch 1 and 2)

Dear Maxwell: Thank you for making us laugh tonight. And yes we miss your lanky bod.

Dear Auntie Amy: We laughed so hard tonight you started crying and we were both rolling on the floor. Tall people swatting at the tail of a mt. lion really get us going:)

Dear Big Red Pot: I bought you from Ross yesterday as a symbol for my new adventures in cache valley (and because I don't have any pots). I love you so much. You make me want to learn to cook. . . kind of.

Dear Star: You have been the best dog any family could have asked for. Marley doesn't even hold a candle to you. Thanks for kissing me every night when I came home. You've been with me for more than half my life. I miss you already.

A double dose of "IT'S ABOUT TIME"

2011-03-11T18:50:00.000-05:00

Alright readers, first of all I have to tell you that I am genuinely fascinated by what I'm about to say. Like I had to sit and pick at my brain for a minute because I don't fully understand why it happened now. Also this may not even sound like a big deal to some of you, but to me it changed my entire world. And then some others are going to say "Du Syd, I can't believe it took you this long in the first place"

Have you ever had a moment where you realized something, maybe that you've heard a lot from other people, but until that moment never realized it to the point that you fully believed it, thus changing almost everything about you?

Today, I had a moment as such.

I felt almost as if I had grown up a little bit after this happened. Weird right? Who does that...

Now that I'm single, and have decided to take a break from trying to find a man and kind of work on who I want to be, stuff happens. I have this long lost guy who I probably hung out/made out with three times in high school in his car and never saw again. Seriously we never did anything else. I don't even remember how we knew about each other. He went to school Smithfield and we didn't even have any of the same friends. Well turns out he got off his mission and facebooked me. I wasn't really interested in him because I kind of just wanted to leave the past in the past. That part of the past anyway. So I would text back when he would text me, but never really instigated anything. He had asked me out because he said he wanted to know me as something else besides who we were in high school. I said I'd think about it. So today during a text convo it was going something like this:

( we were talking about how he was going to vegas and if he lost all his money he takes back asking me on a date. I said if you take back a date proposal because you decided to blow all your money in vegas then that would make you a jerk and I wouldn't waste my time going out with him)

boy: I have a tendency not to care about stuff like that. But I think I'll make you an exception and try not to be a jerk.
Me: Oh really? Why am I the exception?
Boy: I don't know, I just decided to make you one for now! And give you a chance to prove that you should be.
me: (kind of annoyed) haha don't do me any favors, I'm not the one that asked you out. I'm not proving anything. I don't need to "prove" myself good enough for you. So good luck with that.

So driving home today I was kind of thinking about how good it felt to tell someone I didn't need to prove I was good enough for them. I didn't need to say or do things just to get their approval. Which to be totally honest, I have done for most of my life. That's all jr. high and high school was. I never felt like part of a group because I was trying so hard to be who I thought they wanted me to be. I kind of thrived off acceptance from others and would do just about anything to get it. Then feeling the way I was about the conversation ...

BAM!!!

The moment happened! The moment where I realized that I don't need to feel good enough for someone else. I can be myself 100% and if they don't want it, then that's ok! It's not like I have one of those angry girl attitudes where "if you don't like me than go die" type of thing. I'm honestly ok with the fact that not everyone is going to like me. And that I don't need to try and do everything I can to get that acceptance from them. Especially boys. And then I believed it. And I started a whole new thinking process. For the first time I actually liked who I was without the reason being because I felt like somebody else liked me. I feel like now I can go out and not get upset that I look disgusting and everyone is staring at me because someone else looks better and have it ruin my whole night.

Yeah I know, a lot of self esteem issues there. haha. But I don't feel that anymore. I can't believe how hard the impact was. I think that it goes really deep within you when you truly come to a realization of something. Like everything you are accepts it as truth and you suddenly revolve around it. Like when a mom suddenly realizes she's locked her keys and her baby in the car and it's the middle of july. Her entire world revolves around that. The farthest thing from her mind are the two gallons of ice cream in her shopping cart.

Ok so maybe this isn't that serious, but you get the point. My "two gallons of ice cream" is the feeling of "needing to feel good enough for somebody else"

For some of you you're probably thinking "this is just a longer way to say get some self confidence" and it probably is. But it's also something I felt I never really had. So to me, this is life changing.

And not in the "I'm full of myself" way.

Are you're legs tired, cuz you've been running through my mind all day...

2011-03-10T17:14:00.000-05:00

Things that have been on my mind this week...

1) PPL. A.K.A Pretty Little Liars.

I'm addicted. Hannah is probably my favorite for personality and Caleb has to be so freakin bad boy sexy. I think Emily is GORGEOUS and I think my next hair cut will have to be like hers. Mostly cuz I'm pretty excited my hair is finally growing. Sorry, besides the point. Aria freaks me out because her situation is so nerve wracking and she could get Ezra in trouble!!! Spencer didn't really hit me as anything special till she hooked up with toby. I have no clue who A is. Tune in monday's on ABC family. I dream about this show sometimes, because I'm sure it's in the back of my mind a lot. So intense. Love it.

2) The Gabe Dixon Band. (Mostly the song And The World Turns."

It's been in my head all week. Mostly cuz it's on repeat:) It's just a love story song. Bitter/sweet. I found them on Pandora. Fist pump for Pandora. Go here to listen.

3) This.

I don't think a day goes by where I don't think of this place. I know I talk about it a lot. But I don't know what it is about it, I just can't stop loving it or missing it. Something magical happens here I just know it. Maybe it's my girlish dreaming that makes me think a lot of wonderful things happen here, but I think it's because the city has never disappointed me. Ever. No matter how I'm feeling or what I want to do the city provides it for me every single time. Whether it's adventure, food, music, seeing people in love, humility, dreams of something bigger, opportunity or contentment, it provides.

I left my heart in NYC

4) S to the U to the double mm-ER!

(that's summer)

I chose this picture because Kerilyn always reminds me of summer. And this year I get to spend summer in good old Cache Valley! Woot Woot. I'm actually looking forward to wreckless fun, otter pops, scootering, the lake, RODEO WEEKEND, dry heat, and all the good things that come with being a cache valley girl. It can't come fast enough.

5) My Doll.

Pinky swear I'm not a pill popper. It's just this is my best friend like a few times every month. And trust me, if you work with me, live with me, or talk to me at all during this, then consider My Doll your best friend to. I know the office full of 6 boys I work with sure love it whether they know it or not!

6) Calories

Kerilyn told me about an app for counting calories and reporting to each other each day. We're working on our summer bodies as long distant work out buddies. We're taking yesterday and today off though. It's ok, we told each other we were, so it's totally legit. You can do that.

Seriously, you can.

Not To Shabby...

2011-03-03T23:32:00.000-05:00

I am a lover of all things dresses. I just love the girly classy feeling of wearing a dress. I don't get to wear them all the time, but boy would I love to! I only keep my skinny jeans because I am also a lover of cute tops. Gotta have bottoms! So I may not have an exact sense of style or what the trends are, I just wear what I love when I see it on the rack. Here are a few of my "wants" as of late. I got these from shabby apple and Modcloth. Super cute right??

love.

Five Quirky Things

2011-02-27T19:58:00.000-05:00

1. I like the crumbs at the bottom of the Berry Colossal Crunch bag.

2. I only bite my fingernails during an intense movie. But it's only my thumb and pinky ones. Silly, I know.

3. Whenever I'm curled up reading a book I unconsciously run my fingers through my pony tail over and over. I love running my fingers through soft hair.

4. I always spin my ring around with my thumb, and if I forget to wear one, I feel naked and bored.

5. I change the radio station or ipod constantly until I find a song that fits my moos, or will put me in the mood I want to be in.

By Small and Simple Things...

2011-02-24T01:37:00.000-05:00

I was on facebook (yep, still love it) and I saw a post that a friend of mine posted on someone else's wall. The link title was "See past what it seems"

Obviously curious I clicked on it and read a story that gave me the chills, or as I know it best, I felt the spirit.

You can find the post here.

I couldn't agree more with her opinion of how if everyone wore a sign around their neck of what they were going through, then maybe everyone would be a little more kinder, or perhaps having more of a desire to help others with bigger trials than their own.

It just shows that you never really know what others are going through in their life. We may look at someone and judge them instantly on their appearance or their lack of a happy face, but what we don't know are the struggles and trials they are facing. Everyone is facing something. No matter how big or how small. And what a difference it would make if we exchanged a caring look, or offered a listening ear, or maybe just a helpful smile. Because honestly the last thing we all want or need during a hard time, is the feeling that people are looking down on us. Maybe their not, but a smile would eliminate that thought more than nothing at all.

Be slow to judge and quick to help. I think given the opportunity to try on everyone else's burdens, we would come running back to our own.

Love, me

2011-02-22T12:29:00.001-05:00

Dear Kid's I'm nannying this week, you crack me up. Especially when brother takes out lego pieces and baby sister is close behind putting them BACK into the bucket. Too funny.

Dear ipad, I have been spending way to much time on you... But I couldn't love you any less.

Dear Books, I've put you off for way to long. I remember reading you every single day and even letting you get in the way of Mr. Mikesell's Chemistry class (I didn't mind that one bit, although my parents weren't to crazy about the D you gave me) oh well. I think we'll reconnect this year.

Dear Dora the Explorer, how on earth do you get kids to love you so much?! Honestly I feel like throwing something really expensive and hard at the tv when you come on and yell "We did it! We did it!" and I wouldn't even feel sorry about it! But then I see the kids are GLUED to you... ugh. It's a love-hate relationship.

Dear chips and salsa, if ever there was an OK addiction... It would be you. Wait, who am I kidding, it is you. I'll waste money on you any day.

Dear summer semester, I can't wait for you to get here!! So ready for a cache valley summer of Jamba Juice, the lake, camping, Rodeo Weekend, Cruise-In, El Toro Viejo, and Takara Sushi and new adventures.

Dear new job. Three words... I heart you.

Dear Future Hubby, I hope you like folding clothes or I'm not sure we'll make it. At least we won't make it without there being a clean clothes pile on one side of the room and a dirty pile on the other side. Oh, so I guess that means you'll have to iron to... Don't worry, they say marriage has great rewards.

love,
me

A Cure for Cancer

2011-02-15T23:22:00.001-05:00

This year my cousin AmyLynne is an honored angel for the St. Baldrick's Foundation in Boise on March 12th 2011. In this event participants can either donate to the cause of raising money for research to cure cancer in children, or become a Shavee. Which is to volunteer to shave your head and earn sponsors for the foundation.

My grandpa started a Team on Amylynne's page called the bald eagles. He and my little brother Chubba have signed up to be shavees and are looking for sponsors to support them in raising money to cure cancer and in honoring our dear sweet Amylynne as they get their heads shaved at the event!

If you would like to participate in this event, or could even donate a little, click here and click on either the Chubba B. or The Bald Eagles to help in the cure for cancer.

Until there's a cure. . .

Freedom Made Nothing But Missing You.

2011-02-14T23:49:00.001-05:00

If I could take away one emotion I think it would be missing something or someone. And I'm not talking about the "what if's" of an emotion for the reason. Does that make sense? Like I'm not considering "what if missing someone meant you loved them and had such good memories with them?" I don't want to argue the reasons of it. I'm just saying missing sure is a hard emotion to overcome.

If you think of getting your heart broken by someone, what makes it so bad? Because you miss that person. You miss the way your hands fit together, you miss the corny jokes and forehead kisses, you miss being with someone you came to be so comfortable with and undoubtedly became if not your best friend, a very close friend. It's hard to not have that in your life anymore. You miss them. It's not the heartbreak itself that hurts so bad. It's because everyday for so long you will miss that person. And you think about them all the time and all the memories you had. And miss it.

And what about when someone you love dies? Is it the death that hurts so bad? Or is it the longing for them because you miss them so much. You miss their presence, their laugh, the way they always made you feel better on a dreary day. It's that missing emotion that leaves an ache. It's missing having them here to talk to or just be with.

I think not being able to miss anything would make life a lot easier. But I guess that's not the point hu? That's probably when the "if's" come into play. And God's gift of time healing all things. If getting your heart broken and missing didn't hurt so bad, then how do you know all those memories and feelings were meaningful? If you didn't miss them so much then how would you know you really cared about them?

I think in that sense, missing someone is a good thing. Not fun, or enjoyable by any means at all, but thinking about it in a way that you know you miss them because they were a huge part of your life can be happy and gratifying in a sense that out of all the people in the world, they shared a part of their life with you.

My Better 3/4

Call me INSANE!!

2011-02-02T01:02:00.000-05:00

So for the past two days I have been participating in a thing called Insanity. Ever heard of Shaun T?

Rockin Hot Bod???

Sweet innocent baby face >>>

Well just so happens this guy is a mad man. Yet in an encouraging kind of way. (I'm only trying to keep myself motivated to do this by saying things like that. It totally kills you)

Welcome to Insanity. It's a work out thingy. Kind of like P90X only ridiculously harder. Yesterday was the fitness test. I believed I would die. It was only 8 exercises for a minute each. NBD. Only after doing absolutely nothing but job searching on the internet and catching up on that 70's show and Pretty Little Liars, I was clearly far from out of shape. Yes I meant to say far from out of shape. Cuz you have out of shape and "I haven't moved off this couch in over two weeks" Which I call far from out of shape. Because I was out of shape before I started my relationship with my couch and satellite remote. If it sounds like I've been pretty lazy, it's because I have been. Du.

So then today after taking a good 10 minutes to walk down the stairs out of that love-hate soreness (it's the kind where you fear having to use the bathroom because you're afraid you won't be able to get up kind of soreness, kind of like when I ran that 10k in NYC that I didn't train at all for . See pic below)

I walked like this for a while.

and running some errands, my little bro and I did the second disc. It was called plyometrics cardio circuit. It was basically to put it... insane. I feel really good after, but it gets to a point where you are literally doing the exercises slowly and without energy because the burn is so intense. Even the incredibly fit people on the TV were about to die.

There are three things that keep me motivated to do this.

1) I will see amazing results in 60 days.

Along the lines of this. Or something very close.

2) My daddy said he's buy me this if I did if I did it 6 days a week for 60 days. I really love dresses. Somehow my favorites always seem to be a little more expensive. :(

3) I love feeling this soreness. It means that I'm actually working muscles. I don't ever really push myself when I go running to the point where I get super sore. And I'm never satisfied with my results. Plus I get super bored at the gym. This keep me going. For 45 minutes a day. And I FEEL it.

P.S. is this even real??? Ewwww. . .

Oh, Hello 1:15...

2011-01-31T03:45:00.000-05:00

Looks like a sleepless night ahead.

Late night snack: Chips and Salsa

Things I'll probably do:

* Go through old yearbooks and dream of the carefree days.

* MAYBE tidy up the bedroom a bit. No promises though.

* Listen to some NeYo, Mario, P-Diddy, Bow Wow and T-Pain. I'm in a weird mood.

* Look through all my pics on my computer and wish for summer.

* Try and figure out why I'm crazy. (this may take a while)

* Watch the classic tale of how boy met girl. A.K.A Beauty and the Beast.

* Go sneak downstairs and get some more chips and salsa. Preferably withOUT waking anyone up.

* Send a million texts to someone that's sleeping, so they have a busy morning reading them all.

* Be excited that I finally got a job.

* Paint my toenails

* Organize my seven pairs of shoes.

* See how many funny scenarios I can make at faceinhole.com. Like this one...

Why tomorrow might not be jam packed with fun:

* My room will still be messy

* Mom slightly irritated that there is a bag of chips and an empty salsa bowl on my dresser.

* Dad slightly irritated that all his salsa is gone

* When I finally go to sleep around six a.m. the sun will be coming up.

* I may not wake up until noon or later.

* I'll still have to clean my room

* I have to refrain from my lovely naps in order to get a decent sleep tomorrow. (cuz now I have work. Responsible stuff)

* My stomach will be mad that all that's in it is spicy salsa. Puke.

* I'll realize I'm still crazy. ha. ha.

Love, Me

2011-01-29T15:42:00.000-05:00

Dear Little Brother, sometimes you sit next to me and reply "why" to everything I say. This bugs me. But I can't help but laugh and I don't know why! But I feel like I just want to pinch you.

Dear Mother, Thanks for going with me to the RS event today. It was pretty good. Except for that one class we took that ended up being on depression. We decided we were not depressed and ditched out early. Then we made jokes about being depressed all day:) It was funny.

Dear Pandora, sometimes I'm just in the mood for Natasha Bedingfield tunes. But since I'm broke, itunes doesn't help me like you do. You make my heart sing.

Dear Facebook, I think it's safe to say I'm addicted to you. Other people's lives just seem to intrigue me. "Stalking" is my new hobby. I can't get enough of the wedding and baby pictures. I just can't.

Dear Dad's new EVO phone, It will take a while for me to warm up to you. You're cool and all, but we didn't have a very good start. You're not an iphone and yes I feel prejudice about it, but we'll get there.

Dear other little brother, you always make me smile when you sing songs while you're using the bathroom. Especially the bob the builder one. You're so cute sometimes. Stay little.

Dear Dreary weather, go away. I know you plan on sticking around for a while, but maybe we could strike a deal or something? It's not that you're bad, it's just the sun makes for better adventures. No offense.

Dear Star, when I let you into the garage the other day you looked up at me, and for the first time I realized how old you are. But your eyes still shone with love and loyalty. Even if we have to keep you in the garage cuz you shed to much, you still love us. I'll cry when you leave.

Love,
me

Sugar and Spice

2011-01-28T21:01:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been watching cupcake wars on the food channel (still looking for a job) I have to say there is just something so happy and wonderful about cupcakes. Seriously, what is it? Whenever I see cute cupcakes I smile. Or if I'm in a down mood I think about some Magnolia's or Crumbs and I instantly feel warm and happy (and wishing it were summer) inside.

Seriously! SO CUTE! (Kevin and Amanda's blog)

And then I thought of Valentines day. And how nothing would make me happier than these Cupcakes from Crumbs, or the "Ken trying to win Barbie back" Cupcakes from Magnolia's.

Crumbs Valentine Glory

Magnolia's

If you were looking for a pick-me up when you got here, you can't say these cupcakes didn't make you feel a little more lovely inside just looking at them. Don't worry, you can scroll down for a little more happiness :) I googled it.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE these!

These scream SUMMER FUN.

I'm about to die of cuteness.

I heart cupcakes. Is that weird? I need a life.

Maybe I'll learn how to decorate cupcakes....

Bucket List #6

2011-01-27T23:54:00.000-05:00

Go to College. . .

Even if it's just a summer semester for now. Summer of 2011 that is.

I loved being a nanny. I want to do it again. But as of right now, a break from taking care of other people's kids as well as crossing off another number of the list seems to be what feels right. I prayed about it and received an answer to my prayers.

It wasn't an easy answer though. I had other options, and they seemed like very good ones. But something just wasn't clicking with them. I couldn't get a yes or a no. I took it as a "not right now" Then school popped into my head. UVU's deadlines were up for applying for summer, and I've been accepted to USU before, so I felt I had pretty good chances.

So, raise your glass, to a new adventure and cache valley in the summer time <<<<< Love

I miss boy.

Sydney B.

Resolutions of 2012

Sayonara 2011

O Holy Night

Five Decemberish Feel Goods

Holi-Daze

That moment when...

ThankFULL

Love, Me

Just a happy thought for a busy day...

I love you, yes YOU!

Somewhere in the middle???

A "it's five o'clock somewhere" type of day. And no, I don't drink.

Fall Love, (According to my iphone)

Thanks for Birthing me Mom

OVERwhelmed...

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

What's on your mind? (Not a Facebook Status)

Love, me (The UWS Ya'll)

Oh, Hey Irene.

Funny Story

Thanks for the Memories

Love, Me

Avril Lavigne and Underwear. Nuff Said.

Bring it on...

Understand this.

You Know Better Than I.

Love, me

Oregon Fun

Baby How We Spoon Like No One Can...

Ewww... What's on your face??

We've got our love to pay the bills

4th of July!

Random if not silly thoughts

Home is Happiness

I was never that cool, but I won't be taken for a fool...

Nothing beats Summer time...

I love you a Bushel and a peck....

FOREEEEVVVVEEERRR

My Third White Dress

MY Side of the Story

Crazy kids..

The Pictures

The Proposal

The Countdown is OVER!!!!

5,4,3,2,1

Love, Me (short version)

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!

Ollo

The Joke's on...well me.

My day summed up in one word.

I Thank Thee

Love, Me

HAIR! Or not....

What I Thunk

Hey! Hey! You! You!

Star Light, Star Bright, and other Awkwardness

A short Love, Me

A double dose of "IT'S ABOUT TIME"

Are you're legs tired, cuz you've been running through my mind all day...

Not To Shabby...

Five Quirky Things

By Small and Simple Things...

Love, me

*A Cure for Cancer*

Freedom Made Nothing But Missing You.

Call me INSANE!!

Oh, Hello 1:15...

Love, Me

Sugar and Spice

Bucket List #6

A Cure for Cancer